'Sleep well,' friends tell Henri Nouwen

National Catholic Reporter, Oct 11, 1996 by John Dear

TORONTO--World renowned spiritual writer Henri Nouwen was laid to rest under a cluster of pine trees in the corner of a small Catholic cemetery 30 miles north of here Sept. 28, after a three-hour funeral Mass. He was 64 years old.

Nouwen died of a heart attack Sept. 21 in the Netherlands. He was on his way to Russia to be filmed in a Dutch documentary about his book on Rembrandt's portrait, "The Return of the Prodigal Son."

Nouwen was a member of the L'Arche Daybreak community in Richmond Hill, Ontario. In 1986, Henri left the academic world of Notre Dame, Yale and Harvard. He spent this past year on sabbatical, writing five books, two of which have just been published, Can You Drink This Cup? (Ave Maria) and The Inner Vision of Love (Doubleday).

After his death, Nouwen's father and relatives decided to return the body to his L'Arche community for burial in Ontario. Jean Vanier, founder of L'Arche, offered the eulogy at Nouwen's first funeral Mass in the Cathedral of Utrecht in Holland Sept. 24.

The body was then flown to Canada for a private service with the Daybreak community. On Sept. 27, an all-day wake was held at St Mary Immaculate Catholic Church in Richmond Hill. Hundreds of friends and acquaintances stopped in throughout the day to pray and view the body, which was placed in a homemade wooden casket brightly painted by Daybreak members with childlike drawings of people, trees, the sun, a rainbow churches and in the center, an outline of Christ on the cross. Pictures of his friends and community members were placed in the casket.

Scores of sunflowers and dozens of flowers, as well as reproductions of Van Gogh's work and Rembrandt's "The Return of the Prodigal Son," decorated the altar. Videos and slides of Nouwen ran continuously in the church basement as friends gathered for food and storytelling.

About 1,500 people, including L'Arche members, former students, publishers friends and family members, celebrated the funeral Mass of Resurrection in the mammoth Slovak Catholic Cathedral of the Transfiguration in Markham, Ontario, presided over by Fr. George Strohmyer, Bishop Robert Clune and Bishop Peter Sutton.

Led by a bamboo flute solo, Nouwen's body was carried into the church by his family. Then, Daybreak community members with mental handicaps and their assistants danced around the altar, gesturing to each others' hearts and to the coffin. They then received the coffin and placed it in the center of the cathedral.

"He bridged the gap between people and the church, between our Lord and his sons and daughters on earth," Nouwen's brother Paul said. "A few days ago, he told us, `I am prepared for death.' On Friday evening, hours before he died, we prayed together Psalm 91. `My God in whom I trust' were amona his last words. He waved at us as we drove away."

In the spirit of Henri's countless talks, Bill Van Buren of the Daybreak community, who had often accompanied Nouwen on his many lectures around the world, told a joke as Nouwen often did before he spoke. "How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it."

Sue Mosteller of Daybreak spoke in her eulogy about Nouwen's wonderful family and his "world ministry." "He lived passionately with a great desire that the good news of hope be proclaimed," she reflected. "He was a man of compassion, a man of the Word, a man of the away from pain. He brought us all together.

"We heard him speak and said, `It's good. Give us more.' We read his books and said, `It's good. Give us more.' But it's time now to grow up and say we have a word for each other," Sue concluded. "The Spirit that animates Henri, animates the center in us where the Spirit of God dwells and helps us to choose to love, to hope, to listen to each other with the ears of our hearts, to give each other hope, to forgive each other. That is his legacy. That is our challenge."

Jesuit Fr. Bill Clarke of L'Arche International preached about the parable of the prodigal son, a favorite of Nouwen's and the theme of one of his best books. "Like the prodigal, Henri searched with deep, deep passion for a home. He had a wonderful home with his family in Holland, but he did not stay there. He lived in many places and universities, but he did not stay there. Then, he found a home at Daybreak. On his final journey to see Rembrandt's painting, he got as far as his own father, then God took pity on him, ran down the road and embraced him and took him to his eternal home.

Henri's real resting place is in the heart of God," Clarke concluded. "Henri now invites us to find joy and life in the midst of our sorrow. And God comes to us who remain and says, as in the parable, `It is right that we rejoice and celebrate for your brother has come home to me.'

Twenty-six people offered intercessor prayers, reflecting the many concerns of Nouwen's life, including L'Arche, teaching, the church, dying, ecumenism, friendship, ministry, retreats, women in the church, art and AIDS.

Fred Rogers prayed for the children of the world. Art Laffin and I offered thanks for Nouwen's work for peace and justice and prayed for disarmament and an end to violence. Robert Durback editor of Seeds of Hope: A Henri Noumen Reader, gave thanks for his writing.