Fathers and sons: no easy business

Nation's Business, Feb, 1989 by Sharon Nelton

Fathers And Sons: No Easy Business My neighbor was telling me the other day about his brother, a dentist who not only followed in his father's professional footsteps but also joined his dad's practice straight out of dental school. Sam wondered why his father didn't make him a partner immediately, my neighbor recounted, and his father's reply was: "It's taken me 30 years to build this business. You can't come in here and be partner overnight."

Dad complained that Sam took too long with his work. "You'll never make any money that way," he warned. But Sam resisted taking shortcuts to make the work go faster; he wanted to be proud of what he did, he said.

Sam told his father that he needed to update his old equipment. No way, Dad replied. It worked just fine, and best of all, it was paid for.

After one year, father and son parted ways, agreeing it would be better if they worked separately.

There's no moral to this tale. It's just a reminder of how tough it often is for fathers and sons to be in business together.

An article in a special business issue of The New York Times Magazine caught my eye recently. It was an essay by Tory Kiam, the son of Victor Kiam, known nationwide as "the man who bought the company," Remington Products.

In the article, Tory Kiam tells how other employers were unwilling to hire him; they feared that after they trained him, he would go off and join his dad. And so, with trepidation, he accepted his father's invitation to work at Remington.

It hasn't been easy living in Victor Kiam's famous shadow. Tory Kiam says his ego "took a serious beating."

But he describes Victor Kiam as a loving, caring father who said that if Tory felt he was losing his identity and was not enjoying Remington, he would not be pressured to stay. "I'd rather see you happy than have you with the company."

Relationships between fathers and sons in family businesses are often touchy. And now, more and more, we have not only fathers and sons but also mothers and daughters. Very little is known yet about how the growing numbers of women in family firms could further complicate these already complicated family-business relationships.

We don't know how the Kiam story will turn out in the long run, either.

But one thing seems clear. When, like Victor Kiam, a parent invites rather than pressures a child into the business, when the parent and child respect each other and communicate openly, and when the parent can put the well-being of the child ahead of the desire to have that child in the business, the family stands a better chance of a happy ending. And so does the business.