Viewers' slogan for the NHL: game off

Sporting News, The, April 16, 2001 by Fritz Quindt

(Celebrity moderator is an impersonator. Celebrity commentators' responses are authentic from TSN interviews.)

Welcome to Politically Incorrect Puck Talk. I'm Bill Maher.

Everybody makes fun of XFL ratings. Funny thing: The NHL's are worse. Can hockey survive on TV?

On tonight's panel: Bill Clement, lead analyst for ESPN/ABC's Stanley Cup playoffs; John Davidson, ABC studio analyst; Darren Pang, ESPN Inc. analyst; and John Buccigross, host of NHL2Night. Sorry; we didn't invite Don Cherry of Hockey Night In Canada, fearing a knuckle sandwich.

BM: What's up with the ratings? Or, what's down?

JD: "If the Rangers and Chicago were contenders, our ratings would be pretty good. Hockey has never relied on national television for business, though. Almost every team has cable outlets, and those demographics are good."

BM: Fox Sports Net has relationships with 27 teams. Their local ratings are OK. Yet with ABC's "regionalized" schedule, an Avalanche-Kings game did an 0.3 in Los Angeles. Got a tourniquet?

BC: "We have to build superstars. And the NHL needs to be unafraid of change. Some owners have `Original Six' mentality and don't work with us. They're unaware this is entertainment."

BM: Rule changes for entertainment's sake, maybe?

BC: "I'd eliminate the red line. Two-line passes would open things up"

JB: "increase the size of (the) ice, or go four-on-four. There's no room."

DP: "These would create excitement, but they have to be weighed against taking away from the fabric of the game."

BM: What should TV do?

JD: "Everybody could do better on local telecasts. A lot are bare-bones, and the NHL needs to be forceful with them. It's the No. 1 apparatus to promote the games."

JB: "I would mike a player or coach, every game."

BM: ABC/ESPN uses mikes and cameras on players, in goal, on the boards, everything but the glo-pucks Fox desperately tried to reach beyond the hard-core audience. Incidentally, Fox lost the NHL, but its consolation prize was NASCAR, which gets 7.0 Nielsens.

BC: "Personally, I didn't need the comet tail. But my 6-year-old loved it."

JD: "I was with Fox. That puck might've been perfect with a remote control to turn it off or on."

BM: Where's Peter Puck when you need him? (Applause.)

JB: "High-definition TV will enhance hockey more than any other major sport"

JD: "I also work Rangers games for MSG; we do games in HDTV now. You see the puck better. But who can afford those TVs?"

BM: We know the NHL won't put a camera in the cheerleaders' locker room. Thanks for watching, and good night

Fritz Quindt covers TV for THE SPORTING NEWS. E-moil him at fquindt@sportingnews.com.