A movie about you and me

Sporting News, The, April 22, 2005 by Chris Bahr

My wife ran in and yelled, "Chris, they're making a movie about you!"

"C'mon, Boogie Nights came out in 1997," I said. She laughed at me, not with me.

When I met my wife in 1995, her name was Maureen. A few days later, she was "Mo"--in honor of Mo Vaughn. Yes, like Jimmy Fallon's character in Fever Pitch, I have a Red Sox obsession that renders me basically useless from March through October. How much can I relate to Fallon's character? Like Fallon, I was on the Busch Stadium infield after Game 4 as cast and crew shot footage that was used in the ending of Fever Pitch.

I am a "man-boy" whose Red Sox T-shirts outnumber his dress shirts roughly 15 to 1. I back out of family events to watch regular-season games in May, and I spend my summer evenings with the Rem Dawg on NESN. Last year, I sent out our Christmas cards with a large photo of me celebrating after the ALCS comeback.

I even planned a "vacation" to Milwaukee for an interleague series in 2003. I tricked Mo into going by asking her if she'd like to go shopping in Chicago on Monday--the day after the series ended. Deceiving my wife never was more expensive.

Yes, I know you're ready to hurl after being force-fed Red Sox hype since October, but any psychotic sports fan can relate to Fever Pitch. The conflict is familiar: relationship with team vs. relationship with significant other. Fallon's character (Ben Wrightman) turns down a free trip to Paris with his girlfriend because the Red Sox "need him" late in the season--a moment sure to cause quite a bit of squirming in theaters.

Although Wrightman is a fictional character, there are thousands of similar sports wackos all over the world. And given that you're reading this magazine, you're probably one of them.

So how does a goof like Wrightman keep a girl? Should a woman really have to call home after a 19-8 playoff loss to the Yankees and ask, in all seriousness, if her husband is "going to make it" as he sits motionless in the dark?

Maybe it's pity, maybe it's relief that the obsession doesn't involve Storm Trooper costumes. Or maybe it's deception in the form of compromise. Mo wore a Red Sox hat to the Fever Pitch premiere, and she watches the games with me now. She wasn't even disappointed when Boston won the World Series--my dream come true--against her Cardinals. On the flip side, there's a good chance we'll be in Ireland this September--Mo's dream come true--when the Red Sox need me.

Anyone know a pub with the MLB Extra Innings package?