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Dream week

Sporting News, The, April 21, 2006 by Chris Bahr

April 13-19

THURSDAY, 4/13 Dodgers at Pirates

* Pirates manager Jim Tracy faces his former team and reveals for the first time that he was forced out of L.A. because of his proposed ban on facial hair. Says Tracy, "Last season, Jeff Kent led all N.L. second basemen in homers and goofball mustaches."

FRIDAY, 4/14 Padres at Braves

* It's a meeting of last year's NLDS losers. The Padres characterize last season's run as a learning experience. Braves manager Bobby Cox has another word for it: standard.

SATURDAY, 4/15 Yankees at Twins

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* When asked by Twins manager Ron Gardenhire for the secret to beating the Yankees, ex-pinstriper Ruben Sierra says, "Play them in October." Note to Gardenhire: Pass that info along to the Indians and White Sox--they actually could use it.

SUNDAY, 4/16 Nationals at Marlins

* One lineup features an unknown leadoff hitter and a patched-together collection of question marks. The other lineup features Marlins.

MONDAY, 4/17 Giants at Diamondbacks

* Barry Bonds flips his oversized lid before the first syringe-tossing fan arrives, knocking his mai tai and towel out of Pedro Gomez's hands after Bonds is denied access to the outfield pool for a pregame dip. Order is restored when the pool boy explains, "No, Mr. Bonds, I said I just put sterilizer in the water."

TUESDAY, 4/18 -Devil Rays at Red Sox

* Summoned to face Joey Gathright late in the game, Julian Tavarez refuses to leave the bullpen without first being granted five warmup slaps.

WEDNESDAY, 4/19 Royals at White Sox

* For the OCD crowd: The Royals finished 43 games behind the White Sox last season. There are 43 letters combined in the names Grudzielanek, Mientkiewicz, Podsednik and Pierzynski. Now go check 43 times whether you remembered to turn off the iron.

Dream week

Sporting News, The, April 21, 2006 by Chris Bahr

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