Forget ABC, this show belongs on Cartoon Network

Sporting News, The, April 26, 2004

One game, the Lakers are pounded by the Kings, and Kobe is blistered for allegedly sabotaging his own team. The next, L.A. beats the Warriors, and all is forgiven as Kobe drops in 45. This has led hoops experts to label the Lake Show a classic Jekyll-and-Hyde production.

Jekyll and Hyde? Uh, no. Heckle and Jeckle? There you go.

It wouldn't exactly be like passing the torch from Montana to Young

In-limbo Browns quarterback Tim Couch has expressed a desire to play for the Packers, even as a backup until Brett Favre hangs 'em up. Fly's not sure who the right player is to eventually replace Favre, but if you hope to follow the legacy of one of the greatest, most charismatic figures in NFL history, shouldn't you at least have been able to beat out Kelly Holcomb?

Always late, whether it's fashionable or not

Without question, the much-anticipated series between the Red Sox and Yankees at Fenway last weekend was huge. It was a smokin' hot ticket, the place to be and to be seen. So considering all that, this is kind of weird: Each game, Grady Little didn't show up until the sixth inning.

With no Vlad, they are just bad

In their first eight games, the Expos scored a total of 10 runs, failing to top three runs in any game. The worst part: Not one of those games was in Canada, so they can't even blame the lousy exchange rate.

After all, how much money does Serena need?

Though the discrepancy is slowly shrinking, the prize money at the French Open will be greater for the men than the women this year. That may not seem fair, but really, who can put a price on watching Marat Safin and Guillermo Coria?

The BOB now stands for 'bomb off bullpen' or 'batters on base'

The Diamondbacks were ravaged by injuries last year; now it's the same old thing this year. In fact, the team had to put the entire pitching staff on the D.L. with a case of whiplash.

That's a cut!

The NFL Network last week aired a two-hour show devoted to the releasing of the league's 2004 schedule. And in a programming note, on June 1, don't miss a two-hour special devoted to the releasing of Kurt Warner.

Hey, used to be the world's greatest golfer.