Living the NASCAR life: can you exist on nothing but products involved with NASCAR? Our intrepid reported finds out

Sporting News, The, April 29, 2005 by Matt Crossman

Free chocolate, bad. Fruit, good.

Saturday brought the weekend's toughest temptation: free food in the media center. Cookies, brownies, all kinds of sugary goodness were laid out in front of me. But eating media center food violated the spirit of this story, so I came prepared to stand against the devil's chocolaty schemes--with a NASCAR-licensed cooler full of Dasani (official water), Planters peanuts (promotional partner) and even fruit. Yes, NASCAR-licensed fruit.

Jack Bertagna works in sales and marketing for Castellini Group, owner of the fruit and vegetable license. One part of Castellini's NASCAR effort is to sell branded produce at every Wal-Mart Supercenter within 150 miles of a track on race weekend. Before the Daytona 500, during a late-night visit to a Wal-Mart, Bertagna found his bins of potatoes and onions nearly empty. Neighboring bins were full. An incredulous clerk pointed to the NASCAR logo. "The dadgum thing is working," Bertagna says.

If NASCAR-licensed fruit sounds like the new NASCAR, how about a driver shilling hair products? Garnier Fructis sponsors driver Brian Vickers. A Garnier stylist does Vickers' hair before every race so he looks good for appearances. So I had my hair done, too, and I spent the rest of the day finely coiffured ... and in fear that Cale Yarborough would find me and beat the crap out of me.

On Monday, I checked out of the hotel, paying with my Visa (official card). The return drive home went much better. I didn't get lost. The truck drew more praise, first at a Chevron in either Kentucky or Virginia (still no map--NASCAR has licensed atlases; I was too dumb to get one) then at a Subway (team sponsor) in Illinois.

My driveway was the start-finish line. As I pulled in, I didn't take the checkered flag, and there was no celebration and no crew ready to welcome me. In that way, the end of living the NASCAR life was nothing like the end of a race. But in another way, it was exactly the same: I had a ton of sponsors to thank.

Rules for living the NASCAR life.

1

Official NASCAR products take precedence. For example, if Checkers/Rally's, the official hamburger and drive-through, and McDonald's, a team sponsor, are both available, I have to choose Checkers/Rally's.

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2

If there isn't an official NASCAR version or the official version isn't available, sponsors of cars and/or races can be used. Thus, I can drink a Pepsi if Coke isn't available.

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3

If Rules 1 and 2 aren't applicable, licensed products (apples, oranges, watches, etc.) and/or driver contracts (e.g., Oakley sunglasses) can be used.

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4

Drinking two Budweisers, the official beer, is research. Finishing the 12-pack is not.

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5

If there's no official sponsor, no car sponsor and no officially licensed product/driver contract, go without. Therefore, I cannot turn on a computer, drink milk or wear sneakers.

6

No Viagra jokes.

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7

Exclusive satellite radio service XM Satellite Radio provides the soundtrack for the drive. The truck's CD player is not an official product, so I can listen only to bands that have performed at NASCAR events.