To know list: 7 better uses of the North Carolina governor's time than driving a racecar

Sporting News, The, May 19, 2003

(1) JORDAN'S OUSTER

To err is human, but Air deserved what he got

Perhaps Michael Jordan expected a statue outside the MCI Center, a retired number and a lifetime pass to do whatever he darn tootin' pleased on the Wizards' dime. Instead, after a two-year comeback as a player, Jordan got quite a different reception from team owner Abe Pollin when they met last week to discuss Jordan's future: Thanks, Mike, but get lost.

There were no negotiations--the team simply would not keep Jordan on board. How embarrassing, right? Not exactly.

Almost immediately after the meeting, the switch on the Jordan spin machine was flipped to high--he was used by Pollin, he had not been given a chance, he thought they had an agreement. In the aftermath of his separation from the Wizards, Jordan has come across as a sympathetic character, a pawn in some cruel game run by old man Pollin. To that we say, puh-lease.

True, the Wizards could have been more cordial with Jordan, but this is business, and Jordan did not do very well on the business end for Washington. But should Pollin have lied? Should he have given Jordan the impression the relationship was not over when, clearly, it was time to move on? Remember that before he became a player again, Jordan did not work hard at his job in the Wizards' front office, rarely bothered to show up for the team's home games and made some awful decisions (Leonard Hamilton?).

Unfortunately for Pollin, a generous philanthropist who never has been very good at cultivating his public image, he got into a public relations battle with an icon. Jordan has spun himself into a martyr, and there's nothing Pollin can do to keep from being the bad guy. Hmm, maybe he should build that statue.--Sean Deveney

(2) LARRY EUSTACHY'S FUTURE

He could get another shot very soon--in the NBA

To revive his career, deposed Iowa State boss Larry Eustachy will need the help of his friends--and none may be in a better position to assist him than Tim Floyd. If Floyd lands the head coaching job with the Hornets--a big if--he is expected to offer an assistant's position to Eustachy, who previously worked for Floyd at Idaho and succeeded him as coach at Iowa State.

This would be a huge step in repairing Eustachy's career and might be his only immediate option. Although his record otherwise would make him attractive, getting another college job might be a challenge in the current climate.

Fresno State president John Welty was publicly embarrassed by an academic scandal after ignoring Jerry Tarkanian's controversial background. Same for Georgia president Michael Adams, who brought in Jim Harrick despite misdeeds that got Harrick fired by UCLA.

Other presidents will be reluctant to hire coaches with problematic reputations. Presidents like winning sports teams. They like their jobs even more.--Mike DeCourcy

(3) THE ODDS ON ANNIKA

9.5 Strokes by which Tiger Woods is favored over Annika Sorenstam, according to one Las Vegas sports book, for the first 36 holes of the Colonial in Fort Worth, Texas, beginning May 22. Entering the week, Woods had yet to announce if he would play in the tournament.

2.5 Strokes by which Sorenstam is favored over Jack Nicklaus for the first 36 holes. Nicklaus is not expected to play in the Colonial.

77.5 Over-under on Sorenstam's first-round score.

8:1 Odds Sorenstam will finish in the top 25.

1:13 Odds Sorenstam will not finish in the top 25.

(4) NHL SALARIES

An imbalance of power

The price of success is surprisingly affordable in the NHL. The Duck's Paul Kariya is the lone player among the 20 highest paid in the league who's still working. And you could buy an entire all-star team--and then some--with Kariya's annual salary that would give you better bang for your pucks.--Paul Grant

Paul Kariya, Ducks

$10,000 million, 6 points

G Jean-Sebastien Giguere, Ducks, $900,000

RW Marian Gaborik, Wild, $1,075,000

C John Madden, Devils, $1,500,000

LW Martin Havlat, Senators, $960,000

D Zdeno Chara, Senators, $1,750,000

D Filip Kuba, Wild, $775,000

$6.96 million, 50 points (plus 1 shutout)

Points totals through the second round.

(5) SIGN LANGUAGE

Want an autograph? You better play nice

Cardinals reliever Steve Kline, as willing an autograph signer as there is in the big leagues, offers six tips for landing a ballplayer's trademark on game day.

Don't wait out in front of the hotel at 2:30 in the morning when the bus gets there from the airport. Obviously, you've done your homework, but we're in no mood to sign then.

Do consider location and timing. If a player is on a hitting streak, he'll be standing outside the dugout signing. But standing behind the tarp won't get you an autograph. That's too far to reach.

Don't tell me I suck, then say, "Can I have your autograph? It was all in fun." Uh, yeah.

Do call a player by his first name, or sir, and have a good ice-breaker. Say something that will connect with the guy, such as having been in his hometown.

Don't push a kid out of the way to get to a player. How dare you!

Do have on the guy's jersey or something to signify you're a true fan. There's nothing worse than hearing, "Hey, what's your name?"