Sapp's goal each Sunday: Takhomasak

Sporting News, The, May 17, 2004

In trying to explain how much he is cherishing the twilight of his NFL career, first-year Raiders defensive tackle Warren Sapp said, "We're just 6 seconds from me at the Steak 'n Shake, flipping burgers." Now, we don't doubt the Steak 'n Shake part; it's the flipping burgers part that we have a problem with.

He blows how to play hardball

Pedro Martinez's announcement that he no longer will negotiate with the Red Sox and will become a free agent after the season has created a stir. But this nugget largely has been overlooked: When he does go looking for a job in the offseason, Pedro, surprisingly, plans to do so without the services of a headhunter.

He can dance if he wants to, but he leaves his friends on their behinds

In a new ad for Right Guard, Tony Siragusa "knocks out" a nightclub full of people because of "unsightly odor" while showing his moves on the dance floor. Fly's truth-in-advertising message: Sorry, Right Guard, but someone had better grab the Dry Idea, too. There never has been more of a need to double--team the Goose.

Source says witness offered protection on 49ers roster

After Kerry Collins was released by the Giants, many thought a marriage between Collins and the 49ers made a whole lot of sense. Alas, San Fran officials say Collins doesn't appear in the team's vision for 2004 because he costs too much and also because most NFL fans have heard of him.

More from the Bay (but this one's a diamond note)

A Giants player ripped catcher A.J. Pierzynski in the media for his poor work ethic. As an example, the anonymous player cited Pierzynski declining the request from pitcher Brett Tomko to go over the scouting reports on the opposing team. Instead, he played cards. Yeah, that was wrong. But, honestly, in which circumstance did A.J. have a better chance of working with an ace?

Hey, to, used to be the Avs' nucleus?

He's ... safe!

After the Yankee's uneven start, there actually was talk that Joe Torre was squirming on the hot seat. Which is ridiculous because:

1. He has won four World Series championships.

2. He can masterfully handle stars and big egos.

3. There's no way he could have felt any kind of flame on his backside, considering how fat his wallet is.