Chuck roast

Sporting News, The, May 31, 2004

TNT's NBA playoff coverage has nearly run out--but not before commentator CHARLES BARKLEY has let everybody have it

"Karl Malone and Gary Payton were great in their day, but they're not in their day."

"Look at the draft dodger."--Narrating an inset photo of Eli Manning.

"Y'all act like it's a big deal to gain weight when you get old. I got it down to an exact science"--On suspicions swirling around Barry Bonds

"This is a waste of money. A team shouldn't be able to have a media guide until they make it through the first round."--Flipping through a Bucks postseason publication

"The first round of the playoffs is a waste of time."

"If he keeps going up to players trying to start some stuff, I'm going to walk up to him one time and slap the hell out of him."--On TNT reporter Craig Sager's attempt to bait Baron Davis in an interview.

"You should be able to go and pick out one fan a game and just beat the hell out of him."--After Denver fans threw garbage onto the court at a game.

"Guys like you and these young guys, you've turned this into the WNBA."--To Kenny Smith, who missed a shot at an in-studio basket.

"Why did we send him to Milwaukee and Detroit, the two worst cities in the country?"--On the assignments drawn by sideline reporter Charles Davis

"San Antonio is all right. They just have a lot of big women."

"He doesn't realize that Coogi went out last millennium."--Critiquing Latrell Sprewell's wardrobe

"The New York media is overrated."

"I am so glad Friends is going off the air. That was the worst show on TV."