It's a Jersey thing

Sporting News, The, June 9, 2003 by Joe Piscopo

You from Jersey? What exit?"

Yeah, I wrote that. A long time ago. Ya gotta have a sense of humor. But let me tell you how I ready feel about my home state.

If you've got an attitude, if you show one ounce of insincerity or pretentiousness, don't even think about it. You won't mean a thing to citizens of the Garden State. We are not easily impressed. But if you're the real deal--a sincere person, whether you're New Jersey-born or you just moved down the Parkway--you are one of us, and we will die for you.

It's true when they say that if you want to find some terrorist punk in a far-off land, send two guys from Jersey in a Buick. Be over in two days.

It's also true that when a real Jersey Boy dies, his gravestone reads, "Whatta you lookin' at?"

As a matter of fact, if you're really lucky when you die, we'll put your name on a rest stop.

Vince Lombardi, Thomas Edison, Walt Whitman, Joyce Kilmer--they've all got rest stops. Someday, long after the Nets beat the Spurs in five games for the franchise's first NBA championship, the team will rest in peace knowing a piece of the New Jersey Turnpike lives on in their memory.

But I'll stop the big talk there because in Jersey, talk is cheap, and respect is everything. We respect our opponent, whether it's the Spurs or the Mighty Ducks. Not to say we won't kick their asses, but this isn't Boston or Philly. We'll treat them with respect when they come to ... I was going to say town, but is East Rutherford any body's town? I don't think anybody even lives there. Man, we've got to move the Nets and Devils to Newark.

Here in Jersey, we've always been second-class citizens; we're the Rodney Dangerfield of states. Maybe I've contributed to that by writing all those Jersey jokes, but if you're from here--and only if you're from here--you can joke about it. It's part of who we are. And it's a big part of why this incredible season for our teams means so much.

But you know what counts for even more? That the Nets and Devils, from the ownership on down to the players, are real. We're talking about some outstanding people. I spend a lot of my time working with kids, and that's how I came to serve on the board of the Nets/Devils Foundation. You wouldn't believe how involved in the community guys like Raymond Chambers, Lewis Katz, Lou Lamoriello, Rod Thorn, Byron Scott, Jason Kidd, Kenyon Martin, Marry Brodeur and many others truly are. They also get Jersey. Even George, as in Steinbrenner, gets Jersey. After all, the corporation/s called YankeeNets.

The truth is I get basketball better than I get hockey. When I was growing up in Bloomfield, all the rich kids across the avenue played hockey. I was all baseball and basketball We were all diehard Yankees fans--still are--and we rooted for the Knicks and the Rangers. But then we got the Nets and eventually the Devils, and things changed. We had our own teams. New York couldn't neglect us anymore.

After I got my big break with Saturday Night Live, I'd do promotional events for the Nets. I even sang the national anthem at one of their games. I got to know all the players and really got hooked. I've been teased by some teams I thought would win big, but of course they never did. Until now.

I can't see the Nets losing in The Finals. This is the best team in the NBA. You can't fully appreciate these guys until you watch them play live. I've never seen a player of Kidd's caliber. And what a strategist Scott has become! I used to work nut with him at Arnold Schwarzenegger's gym back in LA. The guys would bust my chops because every time I would take my shirt off, Arnold would look at me and say, "Joe, please. Put your shirt back on."

Well, I'm back home, where I belong. And there's nothing to be embarrassed about--especially not our sports teams. You from Jersey? Yeah, me too. And proud of it.

"I was a bad kid," says Joe Piscopo, founder of Jersey Joe's Gyms, a program involving Newark's police department and Boys & Girls Club. Piscopo's Avellino Productions recently reached a deal with HBO to produce the limited series Bloomfield Avenue, described by Piscopo as "an ethnic celebration of America through the eyes of an Italian immigrant family." It is expected to be broadcast in 2004.