Bob Hille's starting 5

Sporting News, The, July 1, 2005

1 Yankee Stadium. It's so old and outdated you can't expect it to be functional. You're not stupid. You see the connection to this year's Yankees roster, right?

2 NBA labor. There still was a lot of talk about a work stoppage, so see, Hawks fans, at least your team's ahead of the curve on something.

3 The White Sox. I'm trying to mend fences with Hal in accounting, so I make a little sports small talk: How 'bout those Pale Hose? This nimrod says, "Hey, pal, I'm a happily married man."

4 Wimbledon. History proves that some players are just better on grass, which looks to me like the first step toward the hard stuff: a Todd Marinovich joke.

5 Lance Armstrong. He seems a tad cocky, saying he doesn't intend to lose his last Tour. Turns out, his team is sponsored by the Discovery Channel, and his "bicycle" is designed by those American Chopper dudes.