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`Hey, didn't you used to be the national anthem?'

Sporting News, The, July 22, 2002

* Welcome to COTF, where Fly (almost) always gets the words right.

* You-'n-Fly know baseball's a marathon, not a sprint (or, perhaps in '02, a 10K), so the star column to watch for the Bravos, BoSox and Dodgers is IP, as in how much Atlanta's no-name 'pen, Derek Lowe and Odalis Perez have to punch clock during the second half after throwin' much, much more than usual in the first. All three have been boffo, but if they come up wheezin' before the finish line, forget about those victory laps.

* You gotta believe Fly (or, say, Tony Gonzalez) is NBA-bound before buyin' the line that LeBron James isn't closing the door on college ball and soon will be bookin' oh-ficial visits (first stop: Disney World). Why the skepticism that Econ 101's not in his future? Oh, just that the kid has probable eight-figure deals waiting post-prom from the lucky lotto winner and a shoe company to be named later (hint: just like the order of LJ's summer camp visits--Nike, then adidas).

* Speaking of Gonzalez, Chefs fans might be suh-weatin' over their primary receiver's hobby of settin' picks in the paint, but isn't he spending his summer better than, oh, Allen Iverson?

* Hey-yo, Mark Shapiro: If you're not gonna shop for groceries, is it Charlie Manuel's fault you're goin' hungry?

* National pastitsprime devotees in Proud to Be Your Bud's town have been tryin' to build buzz off two big things, but now that Miller Park's already tasting flat and the All-Stars split tied in a knot, all that's left is, gulp, Brewers baseball (trust Fly, it's the wurst). Sure you might see tailgaters off 1-94 but know this: They're there for the brats--and to talk about the Pack.

* This week's Fly-nancial report: Pre-camp crunches are startin' even before the first wind sprint, as teams're trying to fit last year's rookie cap on a crop with an expanding base. Translation: Get ready for those holdout watches, instant-gratification -breath.

* Finally, you-'n-Fly know Fox loves trottin' out its gizmos to hype the really big games (hellooo, manager mikes), but isn't it time the net retired its "I can't believe I just gave up another big hit in prime time" Byung-Hyun Kim cam?

Fly's living room is full of garbage, but his column is full of wit, insight, wit and wit. Read it at sportingnews.com.