Which Mike would you rather have: Hampton or Vick?

Some around the NFL are referring to the Falcons' owner as Arthur Blankety-Blank for the deal he lavished on Michael Vick. The thinking is that it's crazy to give $100-plus million to a highly inconsistent lefty who struggles to throw accurately. But on the plus side, Vick now is qualified to be the Braves' No. 3 starter.

Trying to cover up a Brownout

Successful college coaches such as Tommy Tuberville and Bobby Petrino were some of the first names linked to the head coaching position at LSU. But another intriguing name mentioned was the Browns' Terry Robiskie, though LSU officials were perplexed by the Wite-Out under "MOST RECENT EXPERIENCE" on his resume.

HE HAS BRAINPOWER, TOO

Jeff Hawkins, a tech whiz who has a fascination with the human brain, has co-written a book called On Intelligence. In the book, Hawkins suggests that Barry Bonds can predict where the ball will go even before it leaves the pitcher's hand because his years of swinging a bat have produced a humongous memory bank. And lucky for Bonds, enough head room to store it.

All football, all the time

Within the bowl season was a special "bowl week," during which you could turn on ESPN on any given day and watch a college football game. Or as it is called during the regular season, "September, October and November."

THOSE LATE STARTS ARE MADDENING

The average rating for Monday Night Football this season was the lowest in the 35-year history of the program. Things are so bad that after games next season, ABC plans to place the mug shots of the remaining East Coast viewers on the horse trailer.

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