To know list: 6 Tour de France wins? Big whoop—it's not like it's a real sport

Sporting News, The, August 2, 2004

(1) AUGUST 2004

All times Eastern

SUN 1

Just when you thought NHL skies couldn't get brighter, salary arbitration hearings begin a 15-day run with a record 67 players filing, including Bruins captain Joe Thornton, Norris Trophy winner Scott Niedermayer and five members of the Stanley Cup champion Lightning.

* The Colts and three other straggler teams finally get their butts to training camp. Everybody's concerned about kicker Mike Vanderjagt, who reportedly made only 9,987 of his 10,000 practice field-goal attempts this offseason.

THU 5

It's Lisa Leslie, Sue Bird, Diana Taurasi, Tamika Catchings, Sheryl Swoopes and the rest of Team USA vs. the watered-down-beyond-recognition WNBA All-Stars in The Game at Radio City (7 p.m., ESPN).

SUN 8

On-track temperatures in Indianapolis could soar to more than 100 degrees for the Brickyard 400 (2:30 p.m., NBC) and a good 100 degrees hotter under Tony Stewart's collar.

* Pro Football Hall of Fame Inductions (1 p.m., ESPN). Bob Brown. Carl Eller. And a couple of borderline dudes named Sanders and Elway.

MON 9

Hall of Fame Game (8 p.m., ABC), NFL preseason opener. Watch Joe Gibbs, Clinton Portis and Portis' enormous neck take on the Broncos.

* Fall camp opens for most Division I football programs. Will cheerleader captain Babs finally fall for an offensive lineman?

WED 11

Women's soccer: USA vs. Greece (10:30 a.m., MSNBC). You can't have much of a beef with this as the first event of the Summer Olympics. The far-flung cable network? Yeah, that's pretty weird.

FRI 13

There are rumors about who will carry the Olympic torch last at the Opening Ceremony (8 p.m., NBC). I promise it will not be Matt LeBlanc.

SUN 15

Will that guy Shaun Micheel be there to defend his 2003 title on the final day of the PGA Championship (2 p.m., CBS)? When's the last time anybody saw Shaun Micheel?

THU 19

Giants at Panthers (8 p.m., FOX), NFL must-see exhibition game. Will Kurt Warner fumble before or after his first pass attempt? Will Eli Manning continue to carry himself with the joy of a turnip?

FRI 20

It's the first big day of Olympic track and field coverage, which--I don't care how many stories of illegal whatchamajiggers there are--is the coolest part of the Games. Just ask anybody who isn't a gymnastics-loving wuss.

* Ravens at Eagles (8 p.m., CBS), NFL exhibition game of the millennium. Better buckle that chin strap extra tight, Terrell Owens.

SUN 22

All right, fine, so I like Olympic gymnastics--especially the women's individual event gold-medal finals (7 p.m., NBC). You've got those tiny girls with their Herculean spirit ... the way they smile through pain and heartbreak ... their power-addicted, unfeeling coaches. It's beautiful, I tell you!

MON 23

Men's basketball: USA vs. Angola (7 a.m., USA). Embrace your morbid curiosity.

FRI 27

The Kobe Bryant trial is scheduled to begin. The overunder on mockeries of justice is 17.5.

SAT 28

Southern California vs. Virginia Tech (7:45 p.m., ESPN) in Landover, Md. A football game that counts! Not a bad little season-starter. And I was excited before I found out the game would be brought to me by Marriott.

MON 30

The World Cup of Hockey begins. Who do you like? The U.S.? Canada? Sweden? The Czech Republic? Angola?

* Titans at Cowboys (8 p.m., ABC), NFL exhibition game that will change your life. Eddie George is determined to show his former employers what they're missing. Trust me, Eddie--it doesn't work. They don't care. If they did, those jerks wouldn't have practically begged me ... I mean you ... to leave.--Steve Greenberg

(2) YOU HEARD IT HERE 'Shaquille did not want to leave the Lakers. Period. Cut and dry.'

--Dale Brown, who coached O'Neal at LSU and remains "very close" to the big guy, in an interview last week with host Chet Coppock on Sporting News Radio

(3) RECRUITING

College football's Elite

Not only did new Nebraska coach Bill Callahan beat the Florida schools for their own state's best quarterback, but in landing Harrison Beck of Clearwater, Callahan got a member of the Elite 11 squad. That means the Huskers could have their man to run the West Coast offense beginning in 2005. The Elite 11 quarterback camp--held last week in Southern California with, as is its quirky little norm, 12 campers--has become a proving ground for some of the nation's top high school QBs. Notable alumni include Southern Cal's Matt Leinart, Miami's Brock Berlin, Florida's Chris Leak and Texas' Vincent Young. This year's Elite 11 rising seniors:

(4) LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS

Whoa, Nelly is on a roll!

You might have heard last week that rap star Nelly bought in for a share of the NBA's Bobcats. And, really, isn't he a perfect fit? With a few subtle tweaks of the lines that have brought him such fortune and fame, Nelly's new brothers in pro sports ownership, as well as the good folks of Charlotte will absolutely love him!

What he said: Forget the fame and the glamour. Give me D's wit' a rubber hammer.

What he should say: "Forget the fame and the glamour. Defense wins championships!"