Caught on the fly

Sporting News, The, Sept 11, 2000

Hey, didn't you used to be the holdout goalie?

* Check the box scores and know St. Loo ain't waitin'/hopin' for Mac Daddy-sized contributions down the stretch. Thrill Clark's swing's so guh-rooved it doesn't matter in the reg-season that everyone else is held together with bailin' wire and Tony La Genius synapses. But things're much different sans an effective Mark McGwire come the pitch-arounds in the fall. And Fly means fall (advance scouts' honor).

* Oh, yeah, you bet Rain Man's gonna get the Blazers past the hump ... if the hump's between him and the All-U-Can Eat buffet. Here's what the whole NBA knows about Y2Kemp: Guy's chronically late for 1) practices and 2) team charters, and when he does finally arrive he ain't fully engaged.

* Speaking of the Blazers, Fly hears disgruntled Jermaine O'Neal's suddenly gruntled now that he's a Pacer and guaranteed P.T. Check that thin (think Manute Bol) bench, though, and this makeover's gonna take time to be an upgrade.

* Pats, shmats. NFL strategy wonks tell Fly that addin' Keyshawn to T-Bay game-plannin's risky business for Kid QB. Right-wing scheme worked wonders last year, now Shaun King's expected to swing-n-fling, makin' big plays outta little ones while opps' D schemes take bigger chances, too.

* Do not believe the preseason hype, Big Tenologists warn Fly. Get past the overrated top two, maybe three, and the remaining eight or so become verrry small verrry quick. Translation: Be thankful that smell-o-vision is but a dream, and don't sweat the sanctity of the Rose Bowl this

BCSeason.

* Donnie Baylor tells the Spies that health, not money ($7 mil?!), would be the deciding factor on any Fuzzy-Cubbie deal for Vinny Castilla. But then Fly looks across the diamond and doesn't see Gracie in the Friendly Confines' future and wonders ... what kinda mind game are they playin', Uncle Wrigley?

* Fly's Top 5 or "The Kindest Cuts of All, Browns Backers? Yer Front-Office Foofs're Finally Clued in on How Bad the Niners Are":

1. Terry Kirby;

2. Marquez Pope;

3. Irv Smith;

4. James Williams;

5. 'Tonio Langham.

* The Spies're on the LaVell when they say the football coach-in-waiting at BYU is not Eagles head man Andy Reid but Bears O-coordinator Gary Crowton, who's clear as a bell on this: He'll ring up monster numbers on the Midway, then blow for Provo.

* Finally, Fly hears three teams've gotten word via dugout telegraph to Phil Alou. The common message: Come join our front office. And you 'Spos Jeff Larla's "just friends" with Jeff Torborg? You probably say this here team's gonna be in Quebec in '01, too. On both counts--pardon Fly's French--yer full-o-crepe.

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