Pickin' & Grinnin'

Sporting News, The, Sept 30, 2002 by Matt Hayes

Nebraska (3-1) at Iowa State (4-1): Folks are testy these days in Lincoln, Neb. Big Red is playing pink, and anyone in the state with a heartbeat has an opinion about the sudden meltdown.

Some say it's because of coach Frank Solich, who has only a 1-7 record against ranked teams on the road; others say it's because the Huskers have lost their swagger. Still others say--and those infallible Internet polls back this up--it's because of the funky new uniforms.

I'm here to supply a no-frills excuse for Solich: The Huskers don't win big games because gone are the days when you could drag your girlfriend down a flight of stairs and still play. Let me be more specific: Solich is no Tom Osborne.

Cyclones 30, Hot air 28

Rutgers (1-3) at Tennessee (2-1): The more things change, the more they stay the same. The Vols' post-Florida season synopsis: 1) Roll over the rest of the schedule (except the `Canes; it's a Florida thing); 2) Claim to be the best team in the SEC come November; 3) Watch the SEC title game at home.

Sing with me, Vols fans.

Rocky Top, you'll always be
Second in the SEC.
Good ol' Rocky Top;
Rocky Top Tennessee.

Orange crushed 47,

Rent-a-Rutgers 3

Oregon State (4-0) at USC (2-1): The Beavers haven't won at the L.A. Coliseum since 1960. In a related matter, scientists believe they have proof Carson Palmer has been USC's quarterback since that momentous day in 1960.

Beavers 23, Graduate already, will ya? 20

Iowa (3-1) at Penn State (3-0): It's wild, it's unpredictable, it's refreshing. It's Penn State's offense. When told his offense is more wide open than in previous seasons, coach Joe Paterno quipped, "Yeah, I just invented football the other day."

A partial list of things Penn State fans believe JoePa invented:

* The toss sweep.

* The play-action pass.

* The blitz.

* Evolution.

Not necessarily in that order.

Life, love, JoePa 33, Hawkeyes 21

(In)significant others:

Oklahoma over South Florida by one former K-State assistant gets the beach and the beauty of Tampa Bay and the other gets the dust bowl and $2 million a year. You do the math.... Florida over Kentucky by the preseason is over, `Cats; back to reality.... Texas over Tulane by these guys wonder why they're not ready for big games.... Florida State over Louisville by the 'Noles are on cruise control until October 12.... Washington State over Cal by a flak jacket and max protection.

Last week: 6 right, 4 failed center exchanges

Season: 20-10 (.667)

FAN MAIL

Auburn has always watched us here at Alabama. It's Alabama, then it's the school that desperately tries to be like Alabama.

--Todd Wilson, Selma, Ala.

** Todd: Auburn fans don't have to watch at all The NCAA usually updates them every few years.

Virginia Tech has played three tough out-of-conference games that would seem significant enough to at least acknowledge. I'm not going to presume that you hate the Hokies, but try to at least notice they exist.

--Cam Odgen, Richmond, Va.

** Cam: Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University was founded in 1872. University officials claim that in the ensuing 130 years, the Hokies actually have played one tough out-of-conference game.

I don't feel angry or frustrated or even annoyed when people like you (who are you again?) take little shots at Joe Paterno and the Penn State football program. I just get more of a sick feeling in my stomach.

--Burke Thomas

** Burke: Who am I? I get paid to write this. You get physically ill reading this. Who do you think gets the better end of that deal?

E-mail: mhayes@sportingnews.com