Pass the rock, Rook

Sporting News, The, Nov 22, 1999

Caught on the FLY

Hey, didn't you used to be the starting QB?

* The Spies say Li'l Stevie Francis is gettin' schooled on D (Lesson learned: "That somebody can score like I do," he suh-niffs), and has teammates whisperin' that he can go juco at any time. Translation: Let a pro do the one-on-one dancin'.

* Speaking of the Rockets, Fly hears fundamental flaw is forcin' faster tempo on ever-agin' Hakeem-n-Chuck. The results've been ... well, check the standings, Terry Teagle-breath.

* Sure, when Hank hammered the Junior talks, Loss Bravos listened. But that deal gettin' done got scarier when The Chipster started talkin' about, yeah, playin' for Don Baylor down the road sometime ... unless you think of it in terms of Griffey-armed Atlanta restockin' shelves via pre-F.A. trade of Jones (if FuzzyCubbies had enough talent in stock, that is).

* Tryin' to pinpoint reason for Fortywhiner death spiral instead-o-slide to mediocrity? Here's all you need to know: Two personnel wonks tell Fly the team occupyin' 3 Win Park ain't even the most talented in the Bay Area, let alone the NFC Worst.

* Fifteen-plus seasons (that's 30 in goalie years), the Spies say, and Patrick Roy's this-close to AARP-card qualifyin'. So, at 34, why's he whinin' about Marc Denis' P.T.? A sawbuck says it's Sawchuk and the career victory mark.

* So with the joy of seven (W's) Denny Erickson's an O-R-E State short-timer, right? Since he has been there, done so-so in NFhell, buzz is Coach E'll try his hand at another pro league: the $EC. What's to lure a Beaver not-so-eager to blow Corvallis for Baton Rouge? Aaa-eee, a booty-o-Booty and more cash than you can shake at an LLLLLLLLSU recruit.

* Buzz is Johnny Starks, who survived 50 games with P.J. Yellsome-mo' last season, is already doin' his towel-over-hangin'-head bit while rackin' up prime pine time.

* Fave slam of the week: Will a high-flyin' Lion leave a Subpar Bowl ducat at will call (as in, "Don't call us ...") for Quite Contrary Barry?

* The Spies say conspiracy theoristas're soooo disappointed now that Roy Kramer's off the hook from possibility that his computer might've spit out two one-loss $EC schools for title (re)matchup while unbeaten(s) press nose against Sugar Bowl window.

* Finally, a Flylosophical question: Should two sports sharin' seasons be worried about all those priced-out fans wearin' empty-seat suits, even in previously tough-ticket arenas? Yo, NBA-n-NHL, a $150 (plus nosebleed seat tax) for yer thoughts.

Get yer fresh-squeezed Fly daily at sportingnews.com or on AOL (keyword: TSN).