Pickin' & grinnin'

Sporting News, The, Dec 2, 2002 by Matt Hayes

Arizona State (7-5) at Arizona (4-7): A conversation between Arizona coach John Mackovic and one of his seniors, days before the rivalry game vs. the Sun Devils:

Senior player (read: mealy malcontent): "Yo, J-Mack, I'm skipping practice and sleeping in. What are you going to say about it?"

Mackovic (which, we've been told, is Greek for "swallow your principles"): "You need me to come over and fluff your pillow?"

Sun Devils 30, Whiny, loafing upperclassmen 27

LSU (8-3) at Arkansas (8-3): The winner advances to the SEC championship game. Woo-hoo!

In other news, Alabama, Kentucky, Tennessee, Arkansas, LSU and Mississippi State all are dealing with NCAA issues. If I'm Vanderbilt, I'm geeked. Soon enough, the whole league will be on probation, and the Commodores will win their first SEC title by default. Just picture it:

Now playing in the SEC championship game: Vanderbilt vs. vacated opponent. Vacated is the early three-point fave in Vegas.

(Allegedly) scared-straight Hogs 23, LSU 20

Florida (8-3) at Florida State (8-4): The book on Florida State: Four losses and a BCS bowl--why the system blows.

The book on Florida: Three losses and a onetime national title contender is playing out the string--why we all can't be coaches.

Wish we all could play in the ACC 26, Gators 16

Colorado (8-3) at Nebraska (7-5): Big Dead defensive coordinator Craig Bohl says he won't resign. Coach Frank Solich says he won't discuss staff changes until after the season. And former NU coach Tom Osborne says he believes in Solich.

That's all well and good, but how is that going to help the Blackskirts stop Chris Brown?

Buffs 35, Shucked in Shreveport 24

Notre Dame (10-1) at USC (9-2): According to scientists, all modern dogs originate from a small number of female wolves living in East Asia 15,000 years ago. Or roughly the same time Carson Palmer enrolled at USC.

Somebody give these guys an at-large BCS bid 30, Irish 14

(In)significant others: Miami over Syracuse by forget it, folks, the 'Canes aren't losing; all you one-loss teams quietly report to meaningless bowls.... Pittsburgh over West Virginia by two pass-oriented coaches with two bruising running games; now that's a Backyard Brawl.... Oklahoma over Oklahoma State by here's looking at a rematch in the Big 12 championship game.... Mississippi over Mississippi State by Jackie thinks the NCAA will be tough? Wait until he hits the rubber chicken circuit this summer.... Texas over Texas A&M by congrats, Mack, you've won 10 games again. That representative from the whocares.com Bowl would like to speak with you.

Last week: 7 right, 3 (Bob) Toledos

Season: 71-39 (.645)

FAN MAIL

Thank you for your John Mackovic column. I've been a professional symphonic musician for 27 years, and I have seen a similar degeneration in the guest conductors we get from both the United State and Europe. Nowadays, nobody yells at us; 25 years ago, everybody yelled at us. --Alvin Krueger Jr., Xalapa, Veracruz, Mexico

** Alvin: I've heard better high C notes from kindergartners with Twizzlers. How's that for your degradation fix?

Stop thinking you know Alabama football. Dennis Franchione will sign a contract extension, and we will be the best team in the SEC, no matter what the NCAA says. --Rick Sisson, Jackson, Miss.

** Rick: The best team in the SEC? The Title isn't even the best team in Alabama--no matter what the NCAA says.

E-mail: mhayes@sportingnews.com