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The true mark of success : an anti-you website

Sporting News, The, Dec 2, 2005 by Sean Deveney

Think you had a bad week at work? Stuff your gripes in a sack, Buck-o, because you don't know what hardship is. Imagine if every time you jammed the copier, ate the last break-room bagel or got caught stealing office pens, you not only heard about it from your boss but a new anti-you website popped up.

That's right. Your own personal html-hole. Welcome to the life of a coach in the age of the Internet.

Back in August, Cubs manager Dusty Baker bemoaned the fact he was being "run out of town." Why?

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"FireDustyBaker.com," he said. But what Dusty didn't know was that it could have been worse. He could have been Texas A&M coach Dennis Franchione, who not only is enduring two websites dedicated to his ouster--FireDennisFranchione.com and Franunderfire.com--but even has a website reserved for the removal of his defensive coordinator: FireCarlTorbush.com. There, you can purchase a Fire Torbush T-shirt, which is a great icebreaker at parties. (Stranger: "Who's Torbush?" You: "Defensive coordinator at Texas A&M." Stranger: "Oh.")

Or he could have been Vikings coach Mike Tice. Sure, there's the standard FireMikeTice.com. But that wasn't urgent enough for the guys who started FireMikeTiceNow.com.

Seems a coach doesn't matter until there is a fire-him website. Fans don't boo or call radio talk shows anymore. Real fans start websites. And hawk merchandise, like the Hoosiers fans who put up FireMikeDavis.com, where you can get coffee mugs, license plate frames and thongs. My wife is proclaiming your incompetence on her underwear, coach. Take that!

Past success is not good enough. If a coach has a firing website, it's probably because that coach has risen high enough to earn a high-profile job. They don't give out these spots to ordinary Joes. Just ask the folks at FireJoeTorre.com. Or FireJoePaterno.com.

You get to last season's Super Bowl and you wind up with FireAndyReid.com (which, actually, is a site designed to prevent Reid-bashing). You win the Super Bowl with one of the NFL's saddest-sack franchises, but a couple of years pass and it's FireJonGruden.com.

Then there's Ron Zook. Remember when FireRonZook.com went up hours after Zook was hired at Florida in 2002? Zook was fired, and he now describes the website as his "legacy to coaching." Zook is something of a Jackie Robinson for Internet bashees.

(Zook will be happy to know that, less than a season into the new guy's tenure in Gainesville, there is a FireCoachMeyer.com.)

You don't even have to be a coach to earn dot.com distinction. The Bengals fansite, MikeBrownsucks.com, outlines reasons that, uh, Mike Brown sucks. Superagent Drew Rosenhaus is targeted on FireDrewRosenhaus.com. The removal of White Sox broadcaster Ken "Hawk" Harrelson is the goal of HeavetheHawk.com.

The good news is website registrations eventually must be renewed, and most of these sites wind up in the superhighway's ether. That's what happened to FireScottLayden.com and the UCLA double whammy, LoseLavin.com and FireLavin.com.

If you're a coach who's looking at a bad week and an even worse website, relax. The website will disappear (probably about the same time as your employment). Enjoy it while it lasts. Heck, while you're there, order a thong.

The true mark of success : an anti-you website

Sporting News, The, Dec 2, 2005 by Sean Deveney

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