Caught on the Fly

Sporting News, The, Dec 11, 2000

Hey, didn't you used to be a BCS computer geek?

* Buzz is Ol' SC never had a sniff with Dennis Erickson (self-image alert for Heritage Hall: "Mike Garrett's living in fantasy land," one coach whispers to the Spies). But don't get too excited Beavers tans. Once 2001 Heisman hypeful Ken Simonton hits the road, Erickson's itch to leave will come a lot quicker than seven years.

* Never mind Shaq gettin' immmpatient with Isaiah Rider (and, ooo yeah, the Big Fella's fed up). Worse for Rider is team suits' preseason panic has morphed into regular-season realization: The Lakes don't need him.

* Swappin' stories around the "Moose" hunt campfire: 1. In the face of what the Cash Man can offer outside-o-money, other A.L. East G.M.s (Duke, this means you) are collectin' aluminum cans, tryin' to get rich; 2. Mussina was able to get past bein' third, maybe fourth, banana in a starting bunch; 3. When F.A. smoke clears, other A.L. contenders' rotations're suckin' Pinstripe tailpipe (except the M's, but they're facin' A-Rod-induced offensive falloff).

* Bad slabs're gettin' a cool reception in the NH-hell, the Spies say. Nope, nothin' they can do about Globie games and 'N Sync concerts, G.M.s say, but they can a) crank the arena thermostat down and b) whisper behind the marketing boys' backs about lame-o 'tween period "entertainment," sumo sled-race breath.

* NFL conspiracy theoristas wink at Butch Davis' pledge of allegiance to Coral Gables last week. After all, he's still gotta plow fertile (and competitive) recruiting acreage down F-DA way. But come NFL Kickoff 2002, he'll be the guy on Houston's sideline. And 'Cane raisers ... about any Miami contract extension, Fly's got two words: "buyout" and "clause."

* The Spies say streak-spawned honeymoon's over in Philly, where teammates' patience with Toni Kukoc is wearin' paper thin. Not only is he whinin' about not gettin' the rock while the team's on a roll, but his hoops I.Q. goes down the second the ball goes up.

* Yup, that was Mrs. Jerry Rice doin' squawk-radio rip on San Fran QB Jeff Garcia. She's unhappy about shrinking number of touches her hub's gettin' in Mooch's offense. Yo, Jer, was that MNF smile or grimace at Cris garter still gettin' plenty-o-face time in the Vikes' O?

* Finally, Fly hears St. Loo and a pair-o-'villes, Louie and Nash, are watchin'/waitin' for December 31, which if it comes'n'goes with no Hornets arena deal done, then the team can blow town with no strings or dollar signs attached (besides the ones heavily invested in D.C. and Elden). Fly's dream headline: "Charlotte to NBA: Buzz off!"

DEFT SHOT

`I think we can win with either of them. Obviously, we've proven we can lose with either of them.'

Redskins coach Norv Turner about quarterbacks Brad Johnson and Jeff George

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