Caught on the fly: NASCAR invaded Manhattan last week for its annual awards banquet, leading to many predictable fish-out-of water analogies. Which is apt for Kurt Busch, as too much water rusts his metal exoskeleton

Sporting News, The, Dec 13, 2004 by Kurt (American race car driver) Busch

He's got the sneer, but can he swivel his hips and eat fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches?

The bad news: The fallout continues from the brawl at The Palace, with Oakland County prosecutors vowing to press criminal charges against players and fans who threw punches. The good news: At least Ron Attest gets a whole lot of synergy to cross-promote his next album: Jailhouse Rock.

It's a toy AND an insult

Red Sox G.M. Theo Epstein passed out gifts to kids last week at a charity event in Boston. In one particularly heart-warming sequence, he gave a cherubic young lad from Brookline a Sit 'n Spin, then called George Steinbrenner and told him to do the same.

And a partridge sitting around home doing nothing because he's locked out

NHL players are keeping busy as their sport devours itself. Many are skating for teams in Europe. Red Wing Darren McCarty is touring with his garage rock band, Grinder. Eric Lindros is applying another coat of rubber cement to his head. And Gary Bettman finally got the old white-bearded man in the red suit to stop chewing on the gag stuck in his mouth.

THE NATION'S TEAM

The Washington, D.C., City Council approved paying for a new baseball stadium but put a cap at $630 million. Oh, thank goodness. For a second, Fly thought Washington would overspend. But not now. Not now that a budget has been set.

SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THERE'S A CHANCE?

Fly's Top 5, or, yes, his career went down the drain because he put coke up his nose, but you have to at least consider Darryl Strawberry for the Hall of Fame, plus these guys, in this order: 1. Wade Boggs; 2. Ryne Sandberg; 3. Bruce Sutter; 4. Dale Murphy; 72,796,254,358,368. Pete Rose.

Hey, didn't you used to be Ken Jennings?