Mr. Jockularity

What should you do when the guy crammed into the seat next to yours weighs 400 pounds and is dropping nacho crumbs on you?

--Will W., Mount Prospect, Ill.

Let's start with what not to do. Don't flick them off your person, let alone eat them--Hoss might not be willing to give them up without a fight. You could buy him a beer and kindly ask him to mind his manners, but alcohol, enormous fans and unsolicited advice from some weenie don't always mix. Better bets: Offer two brewskis to the biggest lush in your party to swap seats with you, or plop your sweet, innocent 4-year-old next to the man mountain. (The nightmares won't last long.) If none of that helps, contort yourself however you must to get a little fresh air. And pray he doesn't mistake you for a pretzel.

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