Do as he says, not as he does

Hey, didn't you used to be a pro-stadium voter?

* Fly hears that the good, good, good vibe exuded by Christian Laettner comes stamped with expiration date. Whispers an ex-coach: "If you're going to tell guys what to do, you better make sure you're doing the right thing yourself."

* The Spies say Rick Neuheisel tried to spin local media, but his, um, explanations for an NCAA recruiting-roles twin killing were leaky at best. Huskies A.D. Barbara Hedges was ssseriously embarrassed--and more than a tad honked off. Yo, Babs, get used to it; Slick Rick's stepped on enough peers' toes to last a lifetime.

* Fly's Top 5 or "If pitchers report next week, then can pitcher-trade rumors be far behind?":

1. Kenny Rogers; 2. Denny Neagle; 3. Curt Schilling; 4. Kevin Appier; 5. Brad Radke.

* Mile High handwringin' over whether Biff'll be back is stuh-rictly for show. Testimony for the (title) defense: a) The D's good 'nough that Elway doesn't have to put up 30 ppg and he's got T.D. if he does; b) no other AFC West team finished northo-o-.500, so the Broncs can claim division rifle and first-round bye ... now; c) The Jets're the only legit threat, and they could take step back in '99; d) OT Harry Swayne's the only starter who's a free agent.

* Speaking of Denver comebacks, the Avs' rebirth corresponds to Sakic gettin' healthy and Sandis gettin' signed. Groans're audible from Phoenix to Detroit (via Dallas).

* The Spies say Coach Lav's losin' it if/when he goes Ollie Stone over Pac-10 officiating. Conspiracy's a Brain? That's rich Generations-o-conference coaches're crackin' ribs laughin' at the notion of UCLA's young/immature coach whinin' `bout whistles in a league that's done everything but print the rulebook in blue-n-gold.

* Fresh from the Rumorama (where the best dish is served hot-n-juicy): Googs is in Phoenix because he couldn't stand thought-o-one more nanosecond playin' with Stephon/around his possen-family or bein' third wheel on a Marbury-Garnettcycle.

* Finally, the Spies say the clock's tick-tick-tickin' on Omar Vizquel's time to fish or cut debate: Hold out to force a trade, swallow pride/give up lookin' for better deal or b-b-beg to get sent to a team that'll suh-weeten his deal Fly's best guess (shaddup!): He'll report, but don't expect him to be an Indian for length-o-contract (through 2002).

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