No need to deliver Kleenex to this address: two of the NBA's best players ever announced their retirements last week. Hallelujah for that

Sean Deveney

We now know that two of the NBA's all-time greats--Pacers guard Reggie Miller and former Jazz forward Karl Malone--are hanging up their high-tops, and at a time like this, there's an impulse to reminisce on Miller's stunning game-winners and Malone's crafty scoring ability. Two future Hall of Famers are leaving, and the consensus is these retirements are a sad thing.

Ugh. Let's not lose our perspective here. Fans are focused on yellowed newspaper clips, video highlight montages and signs reading, "Thanks for the memories," but as I recall, Malone spent much of his career being a colossal pain in the rump. Miller has been no choirboy, either. If the past week was supposed to involve a red-eyed goodbye to these two, I sure am having a tough time conjuring up some tears.

Start with Malone. No one doubts his attributes. He was a relentless worker, and there are players who have more fat in their foreheads than Malone has on his body. He played a tough, smart post game that seemed to improve with age. He always was improving his midrange jumper, making him a perfect fit with former Jazz point guard John Stockton. He also set the meanest picks in the league.

But let's not forget that, over the last seven or eight years of his career, Malone was unapproachable, unbearable and paranoid. According to Karl, no one appreciated him enough--not the league, not the Jazz, not the people of Utah. He was perpetually underpaid, even when he was making $18 million. He could make a trade demand while inhaling, then take it back while exhaling. Last postseason, near the end of his one-year stint with the Lakers, Malone said: "I feel now it's like everybody's realizing all the things you try to do as a player and with, more than anything, trying to be professional. That's what I tried to do in Utah, and it's just that, really, nobody cared in Utah."

The millions of Jazz fans who cheered Malone over the past two decades might be surprised to hear that. His quest for appreciation carried into this season, when he left his retirement in doubt, feeding off the anticipation of his return and being courted by every contender in the NBA. And what a way to go out--with Kobe Bryant accusing Malone of making creepy, lecherous remarks to Bryant's wife.

As for Miller, former Knicks center Patrick Ewing summed him up well: "He's a guy that when I played against him, I wanted to smack him." Didn't we all?

Miller, of course, was playing a part. Whereas Malone simply was a jerk, Miller was acting like a jerk, reveling in his part as the villain. That's why he flashed the choke sign to New Yorkers, why he arrogantly bowed after making big shots, why he would splay his legs into a defender to draw a foul, then laugh about it at the free throw line. It was an act, a fitting one for someone whose autobiography is called I Love Being the Enemy.

As much as for his ability to sink clutch jumpers, Miller is known for community work in Indianapolis. He spent 18 seasons with the same team, a rare display of loyalty. In the Pacers' locker room, he made a seamless shift from star player on a Finals team to mentor of a young team, and he should get credit for that.

But Miller played the villain's part too well, and unless you're a kid who has gotten a hospital visit from him, it's difficult to separate the on-court jerk from the off-court hero. He dished out much trash talk for a player who never won a championship. Even impartial observers had to get a tingle of satisfaction from watching Miller have his breakaway layup blocked from behind by Tayshaun Prince with 17 seconds to play in Game 2 of the Eastern Conference finals last year, as if that were divine retribution.

Malone is gone, and Miller is on his way out. It won't be the same without them. Thank goodness for that.

(S) Keep up on the latest news, stats and standings at msn.foxsports.com, keyword: NBA.

Play where you go, fellas

Yet another player has managed to get what he wants despite his contractual obligations. This time, it's Alonzo Mourning, after he was traded from New Jersey to Toronto in the Vince Carter deal. To get out of Toronto, Carter simply stopped trying until the team had to trade him. Jim Jackson forced New Orleans to trade him by simply not showing up. So Mourning did the same--he did not Mourning report to the Raptors, forcing Toronto to buy him out of his contract, making him a free agent.

When players agree to play in the NBA, they agree to play by the rules of league contracts, which state that players can be traded to any other NBA franchise. Mourning and Jackson have made a mockery of the system, and their approach should be dealt with in the next collective bargaining agreement.

speed reads

It would be absurd for the Jazz to give up on Carlos Boozer. He has been inconsistent, his defense has been atrocious, and his effort has lagged. But he's only 23 and has shown promise. Plus, his big contract makes a trade unlikely.

You know the trend of players issuing public trade demands has reached an all-time low when Cavaliers center DeSagana Diop is requesting a ticket out of Cleveland. This from a guy who, in four seasons, has averaged more fouls (1.8) than points (1.6). Diop will he a free agent this summer. Hang in there, big guy. You'll be in the NBDL soon enough.

Officials from the league and onion will meet over All-Star weekend to discuss a new collective bargaining agreement, but it has taken them far too long to get to the table. Already trying to bury the bitterness of November's brawl in Detroit, the league can't let the dominant story over the next few months be whether players and owners can figure out how to split $3.1 billion.

INSIDE DISH

By the end of his tenure in Minnesota, coach Rip Saunders had the look of a man who had given up, and with good reason-he had tried just about everything to motivate his team, with no luck. He will be replaced on an interim basis by team vice president Kevin McHale. Players complained about Saunders' frequent lineup changes (he used 12 starting lineups in 51 games), but it was lackluster effort on the parts of those players that forced Saunders to tinker. The responsibility for that should fall squarely on the shoulders of PF Kevin Garnett, who has shown he still lacks leadership skills. That was masked last season, when veterans SF Latrell Sprewell and PG Sam Cassell were leaders. This season, Sprewell and Cassell are pouting over not getting contract extensions. Rather than demand that Sprewell and Cassell increase their efforts, Garnett has deferred to them and allowed the team to crumble. Says a Timberwolves source: "Kevin will challenge younger guys, like he has done with Trenton Hassell. But he won't go after veterans." Earlier this season, Hassell lost his starting job and played poorly off the bench, and Garnett was in his ear about it. But he has not done the same with Sprewell and Cassell. > Expect Saunders to be hotly pursued this summer. He is one of the five best coaches in the game, and it is widely accepted that the problems in Minnesota were not his fault. The Knicks and Lakers are possibilities, as are the Magic and Blazers, both of which could be looking for new coaches in the offseason. Grizzlies assistant and former Warriors coach Eric Musselman, whose father, Bill Musselman, was the Timberwolves' first coach, is considered a top candidate in Minnesota and will be a candidate in Orlando if the team decides to cut loose Johnny Davis. > Look for the Lakers to decide how to proceed with their coaching search in the next week or so. The choice is whether to focus on one dream candidate or to beat the bushes and conduct a thorough search. Here's hoping they do the latter. > One team that won't be making more moves is the Suns, who have pretty much dried up their pool of tradable pieces. Phoenix acquired SF Walter McCarty from the Celtics for a second-round pick-the Suns had what's called a trade exception to the salary cap, worth $1.4 million, which allowed them to acquire McCarty without giving up a player. The Suns now have settled on an eight-man rotation, with C Steven Hunter, McCarty and G/F Jim Jackson coming off the bench. > Having cleared out McCarty, the Celtics will give more time to F Justin Reed, a member of what has been a very productive rookie class for Boston--SG Tony Allen is a starter, PF Al Jefferson had begun to break through with three double doubles in a seven-game stretch (in limited minutes) before injuring his ankle, and backup PG Delonte West is slowly gaining coach Doc Rivers' trust. Before the Celtics get Reed on the floor, though, they will play PF Tom Gugliotta in hopes of moving him before the trading deadline, possibly in a package with PG Gary Payton. Entering the week, the Celtics were in first place in the Atlantic Division, but that is not going to nudge Danny Ainge into making a short-sighted playoff run this year. He wants the Celtics back to a championship level, and more talent will be needed for that--thus, he'll be more than willing to peddle Payton or Gugliotta for a young player or draft pick.

SEAN DEVENEY

sdeveney@sportingnews.com

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