`Hey, didn't you used to be the Ball'more Ravens?'

Sporting News, The, March 4, 2002

* Welcome to COTF, where Fly's never restricted and always your franchise player.

* Out in La La Land, the Lakers barely break even when they go sans Shaq, but don't look for the big guy to get overly taxed down the stretch (April 15 not included), as the only record that matters to Phil Jax is the 8-0 mark posted away from Staples '01 postseason ago. Translation: In the regular season, it may be good to be the Kings, but don't forget where the road to the cham-peen-ship goes through, ARCO-breath.

* Fellow Phils may say they're cool, but the Spies say Scott Rolen's locker's not exactly the hot corner of the clubhouse this spring now that he's: a.) left huuuge jack on the table, b.) buh-lasted team suits, and c.) penciled his name between Slim and None on the '03 lineup card. ("I would sign the contract" one vet whispers.) Up next: a whine and jeer reception at the Vet.

* Speaking of Philly, Bobby Abreu may have gotten a cash bath, but Fly still detects some fuzzy math when G.M. Ed Wade and prez Dave Montgomery point to the books as a sign of their commitment to winning, considering the only key newbie on the 40-man is, ahem, Terry Adams. That leaves the Phils trailing the Braves and Mets in the offseason standings, a view they should get used to.

* Daytona's rock 'em, sock 'em finish had Kyle Petty telling the Spies, "The last 40 laps, it was an embarrassment." NASCAR honcho Mike Helton may not be as red-faced, but he waves the red flag in saying officials'll be keeping a verrry close eye on defensive drivers during the next spin on the tight track (workin' slogan for Pepsi 400: Get outta the way, blockhead).

* Fly's Top 5 or "Time sure flies, because it seems like it was just yesterday that you were (insert age here)": 1. Raffy Furcal; 2. Bartolo Colon; 3. Ramon Ortiz; 4. Neifi Perez; 5. Enrique Wilson.

* Speaking of age-old questions, why would Al Davis let the Bucs pry prodigy Jon Gruden from his cold, clammy hands? Sure there was Chucky's lame-duck status floating out there, but word outta the Bay is that even Darth Raider could tell this team was built to win yesterday and that boatloada comp picks're already being earmarked for successors to Rich Gannon, Tim Brown, Jerry Rice, Charlie Garner ...

Here Fly comes. Walking down the street. He gets the funniest 'vine from every spy he meets. Hey, hey, he's the Fly. People say he prime-`vines around, but he's too busy spyin', to put anybody down. Read him every day at www.sportingnews.com.