Living the dream

Sporting News, The, March 1, 2004 by Dean Meminger

Basketball is a game, but it has defined my life. My successes and failures have revolved around basketball. Right now, I'd have to say things are pretty good. I am the head coach of the Manhattanville College men's basketball team. You might ask, "What's a former NBA first-round draft pick doing coaching a small Division III college in the suburbs of New York City?" For me, it's living "the dream" that I've worked toward ever since I began my coaching career.

In 25 years as a coach, I've learned that it's pretty easy to set up a screen play or choose the right defense. The bigger challenge is making a personal connection to your players, the kind of connection you might have with your spouse or child.

I won plenty as a player. I won a title at Rice High School in New York City, the NIT championship at Marquette University and the NBA crown with the Knicks in 1973. I was blessed with great ability and extraordinary teammates, but I didn't realize how important coaching is until I tried it myself.

After I retired from the NBA in 1977, I thought it would be easy to land a good coaching job and carry a team to victory. That couldn't have been further from the truth. I did have some success, leading the New York Stars of the Women's Professional Basketball League to a championship in 1979-80. But the league folded shortly thereafter, and I realized the hard way that an NBA coaching gig might not come so easily.

There was another problem. Even though I wanted to coach my players in the right direction, my own life was headed the wrong way. I started using cocaine in the 1970s as a player, which was hardly unusual in those days. But as time moved on, my addiction grew stronger and more destructive. No matter how hard I tried to kick it completely, I kept getting caught up in the same cycle of abuse. That's the thing about drugs--you can always come up with one reason to quit and a hundred reasons to put it off for another day.

To be a great coach, I knew that you had to be completely committed to your team. My coach at Marquette, the legendary Al McGuire, was so successful because he had a clear vision of where he wanted to take his teams. My vision was constantly blurred throughout the 1980s and '90s because of my substance abuse. Only now can I admit that it not only drove my family and kids away but hindered my career as a coach as well.

I've been clean for nearly three years, and my reward has come in the form of my first college head coaching job, with Manhattanville. Our president, Richard Berman, wanted to make sure that I knew what I was getting myself into when he interviewed me for the job. Even though Manhattanville is only 30 miles from my old stomping grounds, Madison Square Garden, Division III basketball couldn't be any more different. Berman also made it it clear that the college's main objective is to educate socially and ethically responsible leaders for our community. I think I convinced him that my biggest goal at this point in my life is not winning games but winning lives.

I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm grateful for the people who have stuck with me, such as my fiancee, Sandra; my son, Dean Jr., and my daughter, Maisha. I realize that life is a journey, and you're going to have challenges along the way. My job is to best prepare my players for those challenges. The winning will come once I, as a coach, commit to my guys and they, as players, believe in themselves.

It seems to be working. Our team went 18-8 in the regular season. My nickname as a player was "The Dream" but coaching a winning team and preparing for marriage next fall ... that's a dream I don't want to ever end.

Dean Meminger was an All-American at Marquette and played six seasons in the NBA.