New Belle, old King, no Justice

Sporting News, The, March 11, 1996 by Dave Kindred

--1--

Albert Belle's verbal assault on NBC-TV's Hannah Storm during the 1995 World Series cost the Cleveland belligerent $50,000 in a fine imposed by baseball's acting commissioner, Bud (Lite) Selig.

Two astonishing things here: 1) It took four months to levy the fine, a symptom of the game's indecisiveness, which explains why the collective-bargaining agreement is still undone, and ...

2) Belle accepted the fine without rancor, even apologizing to Storm and directing the $50,000 to be divvied up among three charities. Nice. It would be nicer yet if Belle made a similar investment in searching out and displacing the anger that left untended will destroy him.

--2--

Even as baseball is due criticism for its glacial movements, so too is it due congratulations for having the nerve to do the unexpected when it comes to interleague play. Seldom has an idea been so right for its time as interleague play is for baseball.

In effect, both leagues are expanding by five or six teams each year with the visits from the other side. Customers will see new heroes and new goats, always a good thing when the audience is showing signs of boredom.

What to do, though, about the designated hitter? Simple. The National League should add it, and the sooner the better because the game is more attractive to more people when more hitters hit more often.

For those blessed souls who worry about the game's purity, just lighten up. Nearly a quarter-century of the D.H. in the A.L. has not resulted in any skewed hitting statistics. Nor have any fans stayed home because they have been deprived of the thrill of seeing a slow-footed pitcher fail to lay down a bunt (or succeed, for that matter).

--3--

As for Sports Illustrated's recent cover asking, "The Best Rebounder Ever?" beside a photograph of Dennis Rodman, the only possible answer is: Have you lost your ever-lovin' mind?

For two or three seasons in this slacker's generation of National Basketball Association history, the unhinged Rodman has been the league's best rebounder. Two or three seasons is not enough to say he's the best rebounder of his own time, let alone all time.

To even suggest Rodman is the best rebounder ever is to be foolish. Just look it up. For Wilt Chamberlain's career--not one season, not three, but for 14 years--he averaged 22.9 rebounds a game. We can count on one hand the number of times Rodman has taken down 22 rebounds in a single game, to say nothing of averaging 22 over 1,045 games.

Chamberlain had 41 rebounds in a playoff game--against Bill Russell, no less. Probably the game's best rebounder ever, Russell averaged 22.4 rebounds for 13 years.

Don't bring that weak Rodman stuff in here again.

--4--

In Germany a month ago, I attended a soccer match as good as they come. At halftime of a scoreless game, I left. This game is not art, as its partisans insist. This game is not chess played by sprinters. It's a marathon in quicksand. For an hour, nothing happened except for repeated faked injuries, done in hopes of drawing penalties.

And this: The Hamburg crowd was mostly body-pierced adolescent boys in black leather who practiced public urination at the slightest urging. These Hamburg citizens were escorted by dozens of armed police from the stadium to a train taking them out of town. And soccer is the world's favorite game. Such a world.

--5--

There's a little sign taped to the wall above the copying machine in a corridor of the Auburn University athletic complex. The sign warns users of the machine that any unauthorized use may be a violation of NCAA rules. But then, isn't everything a violation of NCAA rules?

--6--

Speaking of those rules, here's a provocative headline on the subject: "Dr. Martin Luther King Calls NCAA Rules Immoral."

It caught my attention in Dick DeVenzio's newsletter for college athletes. DeVenzio is a crusader for liberalization of college rules to allow athletes a fair shake in the revenues they produce. The former Duke basketball player wrote:

"In Martin Luther King's famous letter from the Birmingham jail in 1963, as he sought to justify to fellow clergymen his reasons for promoting civil disobedience, he was very clear in defining moral and immoral laws and rules--as they applied to all oppressive situations. Dr. King identified two very specific criteria:

"1. Did you have a voice in making the particular law or rule in question?

"2. Does the rule or law apply equally to the makers of the law or rule?

"By Dr. King's unequivocal standard, the NCAA rules governing college athletes are clearly immoral."

DeVenzio's e-mail address is itself a pep talk:

dumjoxwin@aol.com

--7--

His Lexus car lights out, stopped in the middle of the street, a door cracked open, a man leaning in, $150 on the car seat, near midnight in a drugs/prostitute part of town, only David Justice may know exactly what he was doing when the arrival of West Palm Beach, Fla., police caused the man to scurry away. The Braves star says he lost his bearings and was asking a local resident for directions.

Probably.