For the more timid, we also carry pink flamingos

We give you the gargoyle. He's mighty fierce looking for a guy who started out as a common downspout. The ancient Greeks adorned important buildings with gargoyles to throw water away from the foundations. In fact, the name comes from the Old French gargouille, meaning throat or pipe. Soon, like characters in a bad horror movie, they began to take on a life of their own.

By the Middle Ages, no cathedral, guildhall or town hall was complete without a virtual battalion of these charmingly grotesque little guys. And the popular notion was, they brought health and happiness to all and sundry by warding off misfortune. So much time and attention was lavished on designing and carving gargoyles that Saint Bernard of Clairvaux was moved to ask, "If we do not blush for such absurdities, we should at least regret what we have spent on them."

Now, at Orchard, we really hate to have to disagree with any of the leading thinkers of the 12th century, but we think Saint Bernard was missing the point on this one. First, they don't cost much at all. More importantly, their absurdity is their purpose. Having a bit of imagination, a bit of whimsy is key to getting the full measure of enjoyment out of your home. Especially when it comes to your yard. Hey, the gargoyle is fun. He's a conversation piece. And if he happens to scare the bejabbers out of the occasional malevolent spirit (or even a crow), well, that's just gravy.

At OSH[R], you'll find a full range of things to turn your garden or yard into the most fun part of your home life. From an array of statuary and fountains that rivals Rome (or at least its hardware stores) to everything you need for your very own luau nights. The grill, the tikis, the works. And more gargoyles, anthropomorhphized animals, fairies and gnomes than you'll find in Shakespeare's collected works. Why? Because we think if a man's home is his castle, the yard is where you get to act like a jester.

Right now many of you are shaking your heads at the notion of hiring a gargoyle. You say, "I've never seen any imps, sprites or goblins in this whole neighborhood!" To that, we say, "See? He's working already."

For over 70 years, OSH has been helping Californians take care of their homes and gardens. And doing it with this simple philosophy: legendary customer service means having the things people need and offering them the help they want. There are over 45,000 items inside every OSH and the people who know how to use them all. Come see us in person or log on to www.osh.com.

COPYRIGHT 2003 Sunset Publishing Corp.
COPYRIGHT 2003 Gale Group