Army ants and art in San Francisco: can two grown-ups and three feisty kids find common ground in SoMa?

Sunset, March, 2005 by Peter Fish

Think of it as the juice box/gin and tonic dilemma. There are things that are fun for kids and things that are fun for grown-ups, and mostly the twain do not meet. But sometimes in the Venn diagram that is life, you find a happy overlap of experiences that parent and child can share.

That's why my wife and I wanted to take our 7-year-old son, Joseph, and his friends Issac, 8, and Rebecca, 10, to the California Academy of Sciences' temporary new location in San Francisco's South of Market district. It's next door to Zeum and other good kid stuff at Yerba Buena Gardens but also near adult attractions like the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art.

Here's how our day went.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

1 California Academy of Sciences

In its new digs, the museum seems slightly squished. But it remains a fine place for kids to confront the natural world. Touch-tanks filled with starfish are still on hand, but the current star exhibit is Ants: Hidden Worlds Revealed (through April). It wowed the kids, especially when the million Costa Rican army ants were fed their ration of live crickets (2:15 daily). 10-5 daily; $7, $4.50 ages 12-17, $2 ages 4-11. 875 Howard St.; www.calacademy.org or 415/321-8000.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

GRADE:

Rebecca: B "I liked the touch-tank."

Issac: B Reading, approvingly, from the exhibit, "Ants are aggressive and warlike."

Joseph: A+ "I liked the ants eating the crickets."

2 Zeum

The highlight of the day. Zeum is so hip its gift shop sells Frida Kahlo temporary tattoos, but it knows how to keep kids entertained. Outside, Zeum's carousel is a charmer; inside, at the karaoke station, Rebecca did a credible Hilary Duff. At the Animators Studio, kids and grown-ups produced the clay masterpiece, "The Destruction of Duckman," sure to be an Oscar contender. 11-5 Wed-Sun; $7, $5 ages 4-18. 221 Fourth St.; www.zeum.org or 415/777-2800.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

GRADE:

Rebecca: A "That was so fun."

Issac: A "You can make clay people and have them do anything."

Joseph: A+ "I'm making a clay AK-47."

3 San Francisco Museum of Modern Art

I thought the kids would enjoy--or at least tolerate--an hour spent with Matisse and Mondrian. Boy, was I wrong. Trouble started at the gift shop, with Issac fixating on a coffee-table book, Harold Lloyd's Hollywood Nudes in 3-D. ("They shouldn't put this so close to the kids' books," he said.) Rebecca admired Matisse's Femme au Chapeau, but otherwise the visit was a complete bust. At least the kids got in free. Closed Wed; $10, ages 12 and under free. 151 Third St.; www.sfmoma.org or 415/357-4000.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

GRADE:

Rebecca: C "I liked the hat painting."

Issac: F "I am so bored."

Joseph: F "We have to see another exhibit?"

4 W San Francisco Hotel

Why would I bring three kids into this dim den of hauteur? Because I never felt cool enough to go by myself. And my ploy worked! On plush, low-slung couches in the W Cafe, we enjoyed three fine Shirley Temples, one glass of wine, one gin and tonic, and two tasty pizzas, ending the day on a high note. $$. 181 Third; www.xyz-sf.com or 415/817-7836.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

GRADE:

Rebecca: A "The pizza was good."

Issac: A "These chairs are comfortable."

Joseph: A Sticking two straws in his nostrils, "I am a walrus."

ILLUSTRATIONS BY TIM CARROLL