Relational aggression in children: The Ophelia Project makes a difference

Camping Magazine, March-April, 2003 by Carol Anne McKay

Other Programs

The Ophelia Project[R] has also developed an elementary school curriculum, for fourth through sixth graders to address the issue for early intervention. Recognizing that issues do not occur in isolation, especially in developing children, the Ophelia Project[R] also deals with other topics such as the effects of the media on children's sense of reality and developing attitudes. They have presented conferences on mentoring, eating disorders, community building, and relational aggression. The organization also offers study circles for parents to learn and share parenting advice from some of the best resources available.

Caring Adults

Caring adults, who do not shy away from the problems facing children today, can make a difference when they apply their collective wisdom and will. If we hope to stem the tide of this aggression, our greatest ally is the adult in charge -- camp counselor or the classroom teacher. The Ophelia program is only a starting point, a way to introduce the program to children. Although many of the programs have been originally created for school and community applications, all of them can be adapted to educate camp professionals and to empower campers to make constructive and caring choices. An ongoing effort to adopt a zero tolerance for relational aggression can only be accomplished cooperatively by parents, teachers, counselors, and older students! campers who are willing to mentor younger students/campers.

Suggested Reading

Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls, by Rachel Simmons

Queen Bees and Wannabees: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends and Other Realities of Adolescence, by Rosalind Wiseman

Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children, by Michael Thompson, Lawrence J. Cohen, and Catherine O'Neill Grace

The Friendship Factor: Helping Our Children Navigate Their Social World -- And Why It Matters for Their Success and Happiness, by Kenneth H. Rubin and Andrea Thompson

RELATED ARTICLE: Tips for Parents

* Involve girls in activities outside of school so that they are exposed to different groups of people.

* Encourage relationships with adults and other children who appreciate them for what they are.

* Always be available to talk to your child about what is going on in their lives -- don't downplay the importance of an incident.

* Remember that while girls may tell you about being the victim of an incident, they often won't tell you about being the aggressor. Talk to your child about both sides of the issue.

* If your daughter is the "girl in the middle" firmly but lovingly encourage her to take the high road and support the victim, or at least not take part in the aggression.

* Be a positive role model by helping your child see what makes a healthy friendship.

Tips for Girls

* Remember that everyone feels that his or her social life is missing something -- you are not the only one.

* You can help other girls when they are the victims. Do what is right.

* Reject the idea of revenge when you feel that someone has "wronged" you.