The difficult bunk - camp management

Camping Magazine, May, 2002 by Jeffrey Leiken

At some point each summer it seems we find ourselves faced with the "difficult bunk." This is the bunk in which the wrong combination of personalities creates bad chemistry. Sometimes the campers just don't get along. Sometimes, they do get along and have chosen to become famous for their prankster ways. Whatever the problem, the result is an excess demand on our time as we respond to their needs, and often this leads to the bunk meeting.

If we are fortunate, the meeting does its job. Counselors facilitate the meeting, ultimately lay down their expectations, and the campers comply Often times though the meeting has a short- lived impact. A day or so later, the campers are back to their old ways! By this point, the unit leaders are called in -- and if that doesn't work -- the group gets passed on up the ladder.

The question at this point is how to get out of the "punitive lecture followed by the campers apology" pattern. The goal becomes to facilitate the meeting in a way that has lasting impact and gets the campers to have ownership in implementing the solution. The challenge is running the meeting in a way that generates this different response -- and this requires taking a different approach.

Decide Your Intention and Make It Positive

Often what starts as a meeting to persuade kids to work together as a team becomes a lecture on the downfalls of selfishness! In retrospect, the adult leading the meeting intended to make the kids aware of how selfish they were being. While it may be true, it is not positive. A more positive approach is to teach kids that their actions have consequences that can be either generative or inhibiting and that often the smallest choice can make the biggest difference. If delivered in the right way, campers who embrace this new way of thinking are substantially more likely to adopt new behaviors because they indeed are striving to be the type of person who does behave more carefully and respectfully.

Breaking the Pattern

Most children are already used to the common patterns with which adults respond to their poor behavior. They are used to being lectured. They are masters at knowing how to say the "right" things to appease adults. Thus, in order to get kids to respond differently, we have to say and do things differently. As logical as this sounds, many of us would be humored to hear tape recordings of things we have said to kids over the years and how little variation there tends to be!

The following model is one that has proven effective many times. Rather than leave the structure open for a lot of "he said -- she said" blame talk, it is designed to challenge the campers to become the type of person who wouldn't commit those other types of behaviors. In addition, it is designed for the adults to lead the discussion the whole way through:

Meeting in an unexpected place at an unexpected time

Typically these serious meetings are held in the director's office or in some place where people walk by and know the kids sitting there are "in trouble." Go somewhere totally different such as a special place in the woods. Take the kids unexpectedly to some place they are not used to going. Right away you have begun to set the tone for something different to transpire.

Arrange to have as many adults in the circle as there are campers

This changes the environment completely and totally catches campers off guard. The adults are there because they are committed and also as witnesses to help hold the group members accountable. It is also becomes useful to reference the other adults as living examples of how hard it can be to do the right thing in the face of peer pressure or other adversity. To really amplify the experience, have all the adults already be waiting for the campers at the meeting spot when they arrive.

Begin the meeting with a story or significant discussion topic

Tell a story that details the alternative path the campers might choose. Although it can be a camp related story, often times it is more powerful to share a story that represents a larger cultural mythology -- such as the life of a celebrity or a theme from a popular movie. One of my favorite examples of this is to tell the life story of my childhood hero, Walter Payton, a professional football star, who always placed team first and self second and how he was respected by most as the greatest player ever because of this. After he retired, he continued to do honorable and generous things for others--even up to the last few days before his death when he made a commercial using his celebrity status to encourage people to be organ donors knowing full well it was already too late to save his own life (the viewing audience did not know this until after he died). It is a dramatic story and undeniable in the path it suggests is possible.

A significant discussion topic would be one that addresses deeper and broader influential issues then the campers are used to considering. It would be one that encompasses the behaviors they are either doing (or not yet doing), yet makes it only a part of something much bigger. It would also be one in which they all agree on the point. (See case study below.)