Conversational ice breakers

USA Today (Society for the Advancement of Education), Dec, 2004

Do you dread holiday parties? Does attending or hosting another open house make you want to stay inside your office and lock the door? The following ice-breaking tips from Debra Fine, author of The Fine Art of Small Talk, can help you turn another tired social occasion into a productive networking opportunity--even if small talk does not come naturally to you--and possibly come away with revitalized relationships with acquaintances and associates, or even new business opportunities.

Conversation starters include:

"What is your connection to the host or event?" "What do you enjoy the most about this time of year?" "How does this season impact your work?" "Bring me up to date about your life/work/family since the last time we got together." "What are your plans for the holidays?" "Do you have a favorite holiday tradition?" "What challenges do you encounter at this time of year?" "Tell me about a special gift you have given or received." "What is your favorite holiday?" "What have you got going on during the coming year?"

Conversation killers to avoid:

"Are you married?" or "Do you have kids?" Where are you going with either one of these if the response is no?

"How's your job at Boeing, United Airlines, Martha Stewart Enterprises (fill in the blank)?" Unless you know an individual well, assume nothing! Do not put that person on the spot. Instead ask: "What's been going on with work?"

"How's your wife?" (She left; took all the money, the kids, and the house!)

"Merry Christmas!" "What are your Christmas plans?" Not everyone celebrates Christmas.

At all costs avoid "Is that real?" and "Are those real?"