A fussy baby can strain weak marriage

Couples with infants who are particularly fussy or difficult typically do just fine as parents--as long as they have a strong marital relationship, note researchers at Ohio State University, Columbus.

"When couples with a supportive marital relationship have a difficult baby, they tend to rise to the challenge," says Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan, assistant professor of human development and family science. "Couples who don't have a strong relationship ... are more likely to undermine each other and get into conflicts when they have to deal with a particularly challenging baby. They are more likely to say things to their partner like, 'Don't hold the baby that way,' or they will compete with each other to get the baby's attention."

When couples are poor coparents, Schoppe-Sullivan asserts, they are more likely to have children who show aggressive and inappropriate behavior at home and school. "It is not just what the mother is doing, or just what the father is doing, but how they handle parenting together. Even if you have one parent who is very good with their children, if the other parent is undermining his or her partner, or not being supportive, the outcomes for their children may not be as good."

In addition, the researchers contend that the marital relationship and the coparenting relationship, while related, are not the same thing. In other words, some couples may have a solid relationship with each other, but still not perform well as coparents.

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