How to save our children - The Young Desperadoes - Cover Story

USA Today (Society for the Advancement of Education), Jan, 1994 by Janet Reno

EDUCATORS are focusing on children from Head Start through grade 12, while those in the juvenile justice system are concentrating on youth crime. Meanwhile, no one seems to be paying sufficient attention to the crucial years between birth and the age of three, the time that the family traditionally has borne sole responsibility for youngsters.

With families falling away from children, with the network and the fabric of their life disintegrating, it is time for other institutions to assume responsibility until the family can be restored around children. People must be informed that 50% of all learned human response occurs in the first year of life, that the concept of reward and punishment and a conscience is developed by the age of three.

A common sight in public housing developments is a two- or three-year-old wandering around without supervision. Nobody cares.

Why isn't this youngster in child care? Well, the mother is not working or looking for work. Meanwhile, the child has not been abused and/or neglected badly enough to be declared dependent and eligible for various social programs. The nation is being penny wise and pound foolish again.

The same thing with immunizations. It is possible to do so much if we invest in our children. Yet, if they do not have proper medical care and a solid education, they are going to be playing catch-up ball--if they ever can catch up.

It would be far wiser to do it right at the beginning. For example, we can encourage programs where people skilled in parenting can visit homes of children at risk and provide counseling.

I am reminded of the story heard from a public health nurse in Florida: "Thirty years ago, I'd knock on the door of this new mother, walk in, have a cup of coffee around the breakfast table, and talk to her about formula and nutrition and child care. And we'd have great visits. I'm afraid to go now."

There are so many people behind the doors of America who want to come out, who want to believe, who want to think that there can be a difference. When I served as State's Attorney in Florida, a team composed of a police officer, social worker, public health nurse, and community organizer helped make a difference.

When I first went to the development that team was focusing on, people looked at me blankly when they peered from behind the door. Then, they started coming out.

I made them no promises except that I would try my best to help them. Nevertheless, they began to believe that people would care and make the difference. We have to sit down with them and talk to them about raising children.

We have to free our teachers' time to teach. Think about the pressure we have placed on the American public school system in terms of absorbing the social burdens of society today, more so than any other institution, often taking the place of the family and clergy. At the -same time, they face the most unprecedented educational challenges in the history of the human race.

The schools have been struggling even to begin to keep up. Let us support them through full service schools that provide experts who can provide the network around families and children.

Halting the cycle of violence

While it is possible to make a difference through conflict resolution programs in the schools, let us understand that violence starts at home. The child who sees his or her mother whacked across the face and do nothing in response comes to accept violence as a way of life.

Let us tell emergency room physicians and general practitioners that, when the woman comes in to get her face sewed up, don't just put in the stitches, refer her for counseling. Let us intervene in this cycle of violence and do something about it, because the results are clear that it is handed down from generation to generation. Unless we stop people from hurting other people in the home, we never are going to stop it in the streets.

Let us start talking to TV executives about what can be done. We can tell advertisers that we are not going to buy their products if they continue to advertise on shows that are violent. However, rather than being obstructionists, we can be pretty positive about it. We can suggest, "Why don't you work with us to design some innovative and creative programs that will persuade children to get guns out of the streets and out of the schools?"

Let us go to the nation's youth and ask them how we could design such programs. Let us develop incentives. Let us use television the right way to send messages to deal with issues, understand the problems of America, and not glorify violence.

I used to say that raising children was the single most difficult thing to do. Subsequently, I inherited 15-year-old twins eight years ago, and raising them has been one of the most extraordinary and rewarding experiences of my life. Now, having talked to young people for the last 15 years and looking at what they have to face on our streets today, I think being a child in America is probably the most difficult thing to do.

Our children can overcome. We have to consult with them, talk with them, lay down limits for them, and let them know what behavior can not be tolerated and what will.