Confronting teenage alcoholism

USA Today (Society for the Advancement of Education), March, 1994

Teenage years are filled with insecurities and the overwhelming need to be accepted. Intense pressure to perform and succeed are felt by many youths, according to Alliant Health System, Louisville, Ky. Perceived failure at home and/or school can lead to the need for escape. Teenagers often see their parents react to stress by drinking, thus providing an example for them. Marital problems between their parents can be a very unsettling force in teenagers' lives. The desire to be accepted and popular among their peers encourages many to begin drinking. The ability to consume a lot of alcohol is associated with being a "real man or woman." When teens see adults drink heavily and movie stars on screen getting drunk, the message that gets through loud and clear is that "it's cool to drink."

Parents often are unaware that alcohol is becoming a problem for their child until the condition is well-advanced. The first indication usually is a change in personally. The teenagers grows aloof, begins keeping late hours, and avoids participating in family functions. He or she tends to hang out exclusively with others who also drink and use drugs. Straight friends are dropped. School officials often contact the parents about increasing amounts of absenteeism. Brushes with the law of speeding, drunk driving, or disorderly conduct can become a serious issue. The teenager, of course, has excuses to cover these situations and quickly promises to do better in the future - only to have the incidents reoccur. Tension in the family rises. The communication gap between teenager and parents widens, with the youth resorting more and more to lying to cover up the drinking. Stormy confrontations occur, and parents may feel helpless and confused about what is happening. All attempts by them to discipline and get through to their offspring end in failure. In some situations, the family strain is so severe that the teenager leaves home.

Deciding that there is a drinking problems is the first step towards recovery. Often, this is the hardest part of starting back on the road to health. Until the alcoholic finally admits that there is a problem, very little can be done to help. The manner in which this is approached with a teenager is very important. Once he or she agrees that there is a problem, assistance is readily available. A school counselor can provide information about where to look for help. Whether hospitalization is required or not depends upon the circumstances. One thing is certain - the entire family will have to pull together in order to overcome the problem. Professional care may be required to help the family constructively work on the problem. Alcoholics Anonymous and other such organizations can be of great help in providing support, direction, and fellowship to recovering alcoholics. They will have to battle the tendency to drink for the rest of their lives.

If you suspect that your teenager is an alcoholic:

* Do not regard this as a family disgrace.

* Do not nag, preach, or lecture your child. Chances are the teenager already has told himself or herself everything you may be trying to say.

* Avoid making threats unless you think them carefully through and definitely intend to carry them out.

* Do not do for alcoholics what they can or must do for themselves. You can not take their medicine for them. Don't remove the problem before the alcoholic can face it, solve it, or suffer the consequences.

* Offer love, support, and understanding.