What happens when grandparents take over? - Bell State Univ study shows that grandparents raising their grandchildren have improved parenting skills that emphasize more love and control - Brief Article

USA Today (Society for the Advancement of Education), August, 1997

When it comes to raising children, a second chance means a great deal to grandparents. A survey at Ball State University, Muncie, Ind., of 144 grandparents currently raising their grandchildren found that second-time parenting skills are different, emphasizing greater love and control.

"When grandparents are forced into the role of parent, they have many years of memories to draw upon," notes Nancy Hoffman, a doctoral student who conducted the research. "They have time to reflect, remembering what worked and what didn't work."

The study found that 54% of second-time parents were raising grandchildren differently, compared to 33% who said their tactics were the same. "As individuals progress from being first-time parents to raising their grandchildren, they change the way they do things. They shift away from being low love/low control towards being more authoritative, which includes higher love and more control.

"As grandparents grow older, they recognize there is an obligation to be more accepting. They recognize that children need love, but also need rules, limits, and boundaries. The values haven't changed over the years, but the awareness of reaching those values has."

While a minority indicated that first-time parenting skills were still effective, potential problems are far different. Grandparents often have to deal with children who have disabilities stemming from parental drug abuse, neglect, and physical abuse.

The grandparents indicated that: * While raising young children was a difficult job, they would not trade the opportunity. In many cases, they freely had chosen to assume the role, even though it was not expected or planned, in later years. * They assumed responsibility in the majority of cases when the parents encountered alcohol or drug problems. Other reasons given include death, incarceration, or the parent or parents being too immature to assume responsibility. * They wanted to keep the family together and had feelings of love and concern for the children, who could not be held responsible for their circumstances. * Support groups were a valuable resource in their second parenting experience. There was an appreciation for schoolteachers and individuals from various social agencies who cared for the grandchildren and supported them during the second-time parenting process. * The legal system is a major concern because of the fear that the courts can take grandchildren away, sending them back to unfit parents.

"Over all, grandparents are deeply grateful to have an opportunity; no matter if they are single or if there are financial problems, "Hoffman points out.