Putting your worst foot backward

USA Today (Society for the Advancement of Education), July, 1998

Unemployment rates may ebb and flow, but there's never a shortage of unfortunate resume blunders making their way to hiring managers. Job-seekers should take note that attempts to land that dream position may be foiled if they don't take proper care when preparing resumes.

"Resumania" is the term hiring expert Robert Half, founder of Accountemps, a nationwide temporary staffing service for accounting, finance, and bookkeeping, coined to describe the sloppy mistakes, typos, and use of inappropriate information in job candidate's resumes, employment applications, and cover letters. Some recent examples he has collected include:

* "Excellant at people oriented positions and organizional problem solving." (But not so good at proofreading.)

* "I am a great team player I am." (And I do not like green eggs and ham!)

* "I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0, computor, and spreadsheat programs." (But have yet to master the spell check.)

* "Very experienced with out-house computers." (Where did they find an extension cord that long?)

Lynn Taylor, a vice president at Accountemps, advises job candidates against relying solely on computer spelling and grammar checkers instead of careful proofreading. Here are a few examples of submissions obviously denied the once-over:

* "Spent several years in the United States Navel Reserve." (Is this where the oranges remain until they're ripe?)

* "1881-1995: Spent my time teaching and going to school for computer science." (That's all in 114 years?)

* I never take anything for granite." (I think we're already off to a rocky start.)

* "To Home-Ever it concerns." (We'll forward it right away.)

* "Reason for leaving: maturity leave." (An innovative approach to professional growth.)

* "Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year." (Get well soon!)

She suggests that job seekers stick to the facts, emphasizing the positive and avoiding extraneous information such as:

* "Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions." (How proud you must be.)

* "I'm a lean, mean, marketing machine." (It's robo-salesman!)

* "Failed bar exam with relatively high grades." (Congratulations?)

* "Completed 11 years of high school." (Now that's dedication!)