Notes & Asides - current events, letters and commentary - Letter to the Editor - Column

National Review, Dec 31, 2002 by Wiilliam F. Buckley, Jr.

--Dear Mr. Buckley: Mom's the word.

Apparently it has been determined that henceforth the word mom shall be used in all instances to denote the female parent instead of the previously used word that rhymes with "other."

It is not clear why the other M-word has been discredited and banished from the language. Undoubtedly it has something to do with political correctness.

It may be part of a vast left-wing conspiracy.

In any case, we will see headlines in the future such as these:

Saddam Hussein Predicts the Mom of All Battles

The Vatican Considers Mom Teresa for Sainthood

Gold Miners in Africa Hope to Strike the Mom Lode Soon

Many Immigrants Continue to Speak in Their Mom Tongue

Mom-of-Pearl Jewelry Is Becoming More Popular

Mom Goose Stories to Be Read at the Library.

Perhaps your readers can supply additional candidates for headlines that we may see in the future.

Sincerely,

J. Walter Lynch

Athens, Ga.

--Dear Mr. Lynch: No!!! You have given us quite enough.

Cordially, WFB

-- Dear Mr. Buckley: Reader Horst Brakel (Oct. 28) has got it dead wrong concerning "if I were" and "if I was."

The former is appropriate in the subjunctive (as distinct from indicative) mood, applicable when describing a condition presupposed to be contrary to fact, e.g., "if I were king." The latter is used in the actual, non-subjunctive past tense, as in "I always called her from the office if I was going to be late." "If I had been" would surely not suffice in the latter example, and indeed is not the past tense, contrary to Mr. Brakel's assertion. It is the pluperfect tense, used to express action completed before a stated or implied past time, and is formed with the past participle of a verb and the auxiliary "had."

Mr. Brakel can be forgiven. He did not have my sainted and infallible mother to instruct him in these matters.

Thomas M. Mustin

Coronado, Calif.

--Dear Mr. Mustin: Poor Mr. Brakel. You do mean an infallible mom?

Cordially, WFB

--Dear Mr. Buckley: Perhaps Horst Brakel, in his seemingly blanket condemnation of if I was, is forgetting the distinction between the indicative and the subjunctive moods.

Certainly one would not use if I was king for the past form of the subjunctive if I were king. But if I am to pass my exams, I will have to study harder is the present indicative; to put this sentence into the past tense, one must also use the indicative: If I was to pass my exams, I would have to study harder. In this sentence, if I was is perfectly correct.

If I were Mr. Brakel, I would retrieve if I was from the scrap heap!

Jennifer Blakebrough-Raeburn

Lakewood, Colo.

Dear Ms. Blakebrough-Raeburn: Nicely done! This is a tough day for Brakel.

Cordially, WFB

-- Dear Bill (or Dear Mr. Buckley, as N&A usually goes): In regard to the comment from Sidney Zecher (Nov. 25) -- "I didn't know that Christ spoke English!" -- this puts me in mind of the Texas governor Ma Ferguson.

Asked if Texas schoolchildren should be bilingual, Ma answered: "If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it's good enough for the schoolchildren of Texas."

Love,

Liz Smith

New York, N.Y.

--Dear Liz: Did you ever think of doing glossolalia in English? It is extremely difficult, but that would not deter you. Berlitz has a total- immersion course in it, and if you can make the time, we can go together. That will end these foolish arguments.

Love, Bill

-- WFB