Stern und drang - anecdotes from the New York State Libertarian Party political convention and the antics of gubernatorial candidate and radio talk show personality Howard Stern

National Review, June 13, 1994 by Todd Seavey

REPORTS were circulating in Albany that the New York Libertarian Party's chairman, Ludwig Vogel, had accompanied Howard Stern to a strip club called Goldfinger's and had even had his head rubbed between a stripper's large breasts.

That did little to calm the fears of some Libertarians that the party's convention starting that day would prove to be an embarrassing circus. One month had passed since Howard Stern had announced his intention of running for governor of New York on the Libertarian ticket.

That Friday, April 22, Stern and his strange entourage were making their way to the Albany convention in a tour bus. The bus stopped several times along the way so that Stern could meet his constituents. "I talked to blacks, I talked to Puerto Ricans, I talked to all kinds of frightening people," he related.

In the town of Saugerties, Stern assured the citizens: "I understand all of your problems, Saugerties." He told the crowd that he thought the idea of a Woodstock anniversary concert in the area was stupid--until one of his assistants told him the concert would probably be good for the local economy. Displaying his concern for the populace, Stern immediately decided the concert was a great idea. He also assured the crowd that Saugerties was his favorite philosopher.

Meanwhile, I was being driven to the convention by one of Stern's rivals for the nomination, Joseph Brennan, who told me that Stern had picked a Democrat named Stan Dworkin as his running-mate. Brennan, disappointed, hoped to get enough votes on the first ballot to persuade Stern to take on a Libertarian--such as Joe--as his running-mate. Brennan, an ardent Stern fan, had no desire to upset Stern, but would attempt a delicate balancing act in his speech the next day. He asked me to give his nominating speech and I agreed. I had no thoughts of journalistic impartiality that weekend anyway, so I might as well have fun.

Several omens seemed to underscore the weekend's significance. Stern's tour bus was reportedly driven by the driver from Nirvana's final tour before Kurt Cobain killed himself. The day Stern arrived in Albany, ex-President Nixon died. We would later find out that prominent libertarian Karl Hess also passed away. There are undoubtedly party members who took consolation in the thought that Hess was spared witnessing the convention.

Stern eventually arrived in Albany with his entourage of strippers and eccentrics, including David Peel, the pot-smoking folk singer who wrote Stern's campaign song ("Howard Stern for governor/Howard Stern for governor/For gov-er-nor of New York").

I had first heard Peel play the campaign song at a Greenwich Village magic store during a Stern rally, which took place simultaneously with a colorful April Fool's Day parade, making it difficult to tell where one group ended and the other began. Joe Brennan put in an appearance, looking a bit out of place in a suit and tie, calmly explaining libertarian principles to the press with a piece of pink Silly String, sprayed by one of the paraders, dangling from his head.

Now, three weeks later, Brennan and the rest of us were heading over to the Italian American Center for the nominations. The ranks of voting Libertarians had swollen to nearly four hundred, about half of them probably there purely as Howard Stern fans, but all having joined the party before the April 8 deadline.

There were also dozens of press people and onlookers, something the Libertarian Party is not used to. The party also isn't used to candidates accompanied by scantily clad women with large breasts, including a beautiful tattooed lesbian named Debbie who claims to have had sex with space aliens. But then old Libertarians are often seen as loony themselves. Where else is talking about your own legal problems--as one speaker charged with illegal gun possession did--considered a good tactical move in a nominating speech?

Still, the Stern people completely eclipsed the eccentricities of others in the hall. "Melrose" Larry Green, for example, wore a Statue of Liberty hat, laughed loudly at other candidates, and repeatedly played a tape recording of the Stern campaign song. During Joseph Brennan's speech, Melrose held up a sign saying, "Don't brag--I'm a Cornell MBA and look at me."

In fact, Brennan was heckled throughout his speech. As his nominator, I was disappoined that his "friendly" criticism of Stern's candidacy was making him come across as the anti-Stern candidate.

Brennan's speech even had the astonishing effect of bringing together (for a brief moment) Stern and Stern's real enemy in the race, Buffalo lawyer James Ostrowski. Ostrowski has maintained a certain frowny-faced integrity throughout the Stern hubbub, asking the party to distance itself from Stern and take the election seriously. Stern, shocked to hear Brennan criticize his candidacy, leaned over to ask Ostrowski, "What is Joe doing?"

Ostrowski, in his characteristic bored monotone, replied, "It's very hard sometimes to tell what Joe's thinking."