Not among friends - self-admission of conservative values can repel potential friendships

National Review, April 8, 1996 by Karina Rollins

MY friend Debbie and I were sitting at our favorite Italian restaurant, and the waiter had put magnificent dishes on the table next to us, occupied by two friendly looking women. Everything on their table looked and smelled so wonderful that Debbie and I proceeded to order the same things.

Our copycat act soon turned into a running gag, with very amiable small talk exchanged among the four of us throughout the evening. At one point, the other women gave us a tidbit of gossip about the two men sitting nearby ("One is in his fifties, the other is married"). Being lesbians, they explained, they were not interested in the men. Debbie and I thanked them for the tip but said that we weren't interested either (one is in his fifties, the other is married). We then chatted about restaurants, living in New York, what we do for a living. That's when the trouble started. When asked where I work, I answered, "For a magazine."

"Oh really?" said one of the women, giving me a big interested smile. "Which one?"

"NATIONAL REVIEW," I said.

Her jaw dropped. The other woman tensed up noticeably. The woman whose jaw had dropped looked bewildered. I don't think she knew exactly what NR is, but obviously she sensed evil afoot. The other woman filled her in: "Irene, NATIONAL REVIEW -- William F. Buckley -- conservative -- this is not what we want."

Irene asked me: "But don't they hate gays?"

"No, we do not hate gays."

"But don't they support Oliver North who made all that money off of homophobia?" I asked her what she meant by "making money off of homophobia." She didn't have an answer, but continued to look confused as the other woman coolly said good night and ushered her out the door.

This was not the first time I had been expelled from the Club of Decent People for being conservative. As a matter of fact, working for NR has not exactly helped my social life. I frequently meet people who think I am perfectly pleasant to talk to -- until they find out where I work. Some people draw down the corners of their mouths in disdain and avoid me for the rest of the evening, while others are simply confused and wonder: "So . . . do you . . . ah . . . subscribe to their views?"

I do not know of any conservative who, when talking with a group of strangers, assumes that everyone present despises Al Gore. But among young, expensively educated liberals, political correctness pervades everyday life to such a degree that even many apolitical people take it for granted that if they meet an apparently normal person he will share certain acceptable views. A popular homosexual T-shirt slogan says, "Don't assume I'm straight." I think I need a T-shirt that reads, "Don't assume I'm liberal."

The most extreme reaction to my conservatism came not from a stranger but from a friend. Susan, a self-described radical leftist, generously put up with my views for four years, as I did with hers. But when I joined NR, that was just too much. She explained to me that she could no longer be my friend because by working for NR I was "playing an active part in helping to destroy America." I am not making this up. And I should add that "Susan" is actually Tom. Yes, Tom is a man who wants to be a woman, wears women's clothes, will soon have a sex-change operation, and --wants nothing to do with me.

People have always shunned other people for various reasons. But in the past three decades the most familiar criteria for ostracism have changed. Homosexuals, known for their persistent pleas for non-judgment, have in too many cases evolved from the judged to those who judge others. The same individuals who preach tolerance of opposing views deem conservatism not a view to be challenged, but an evil to be stamped out. In certain circles it is no longer possible to have moral qualms about homosexuality, oppose affirmative action, or favor a capital-gains tax cut, and be considered a decent person.

Frankly I am a bit bewildered that lesbians and transsexuals feel it is beneath them to associate with me. Maybe I should plead for acceptance the way they do: Your son could grow up to be a Republican; I believe a child needs a mother and a father but I'm just like everyone else; one in ten Americans is conservative; don't hate me because I'm different!

I'm not very hopeful that my pleas will work. Now if you will excuse me, I have a country to destroy.