Hurricanes and Turkey

Interview, Nov, 2008 by Jeffrey Slonim

July 18, 64 A.D.--Nero fiddled while Rome burned; September 3, 2008 A.D.--Two days before the start of a sweltering New York Fashion Week, while Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, Merrill Lynch, and Lehman Brothers were tanking, Valentino Garavani and Samsung feted a documentary called Valentino: The Last Emperor.

The title deserves a T for turkey, but j'adore V, who dresses as neat as a pin. The white pants seemed painted on. The shoos were shiny patent leather, and the long, thin black tie shimmered with sparkle dust. V's no T

He threw a similar party in Venice during the fill festival at the Peggy Guggenheim palazzo, Venier dei Leoni. Carlos Souza, with V, said that the name dei Leoni harks back to a story that the family kept a lion in the garden. So fierce ...

V arrived on the arm of Lord of the Pangs lioness Liv Tyler, who wore a Valentino red dress ... by Oscar de la Renta (ouch). Because of noise ordinances, the Venice party, with Uma Thurman, shut down early. So V, Carlos, Claire Danes, and Natalia Vodianova grabbed gondolas to the Gritti Palace for Bellinis until, like, 4:00 A.M. (very non-T).

At the NYC V fete, Alex and Simon of The Real Housewives of New York City told me that Gawker spotted them on a nude beach in Saint Bart's, reporting that Simon has a big D. I get a swinger vibe from these T's. I also spotted the duo at Rosa Cha, the T&A-packed Brazilian swimwear show starring Anne V (no relation).

On September 4, Interview threw a blowout for the magazine's new format at the unfinished Standard Hotel in New York's choice Meatpacking District. The Department of Buildings and the Fire Chief finally okayed the hard-hat site for partying at 5 V.M., four hours before the velvet ropes were scheduled to part. Pass the X for Xanax.

Andre Balazs has built a soaring monolith on top of the High Line, a defunct rail viaduct on the West Side. Entering the party under those tracks was like walking into a Vito Bruno outlaw party, and some of the entertainers reinforced that primal downtown vibe.

Construction elevators offered a thrill ride to 18, a raw floor with triple-height windows that were still taped. Jim Moffat, Steven Meisel's agent, was pushing a Poseidon Adventure--disaster scenario, advising all to bail. Only Moffat did.

The hip throngs vibed on the danger element. Indie A-listers included DJs Kid America and Matt Creed (both on duty); Mary-Kate Olsen; supermodels; art stars; Fab 5 Freddy; Julia Restoin-Roitfeld; and Prince Extravaganza. No Ts Among many other notables: Donna Karan, Diane von Furstenberg, Dean and Dan Caten, Veruschka, Lauren Hutton, Michel Gondry, Craig McDean, Steven Klein, Michael Ovitz, Tory Burch, Angela Lindvall, Chris Kruse, Julia Stegner, Jessica Stam, Elizabeth Peyton, Gavin Brown, Ryan McGinley, Donald Baechler, Tom Sachs, Terence Koh, Lyor Cohen, and Aby Rosen.

At the fete, artist David McDermott, who hadn't been to the U.S. for seven years, told us that he sailed here aboard the Queen Mary 2. On day three, the power went out and the mall-size ship began drifting with no engines. Then a storm hit. "And it costs a fortune!" said Peter McGough, who endured Madame McDermott mining green and raking to bed.

September 6, Interview's Glenn O'Brien and I endured hurricane rains to catch the Band of Outsiders presentation. Apparently, Glenn's previous incarnation as host of TV Party inspired the show. This writer felt like slapping down a credit card for the skinny bow ties.

At threeASFOUR, Sean Lennon, in the front row, was dressed like Sgt. Pepper at a funeral while his gorgeous squeeze Charlotte Kemp Muhl wore a coyote hat out of Grizzly Adams, which they'd picked up from real traders in Wyoming for a sack of beans or something. The last dress in the show was covered with the translucent shells used in wind chimes, so it comes with a fab sound track.

Same morning, Sam Ronson dragged Lindsay Lohan to her sis Charlotte's show. Sam's hair was supershort, like Mrs. Beckham's new do. Ann Dexter-Jones, Sam's mom, gave Lindsay a lace-gloved hug backstage before LL faced paparazzi. I'm hearing they all had seder together.

Conde Nast taped Fashion Rocks at Radio City Music Hall on Friday, and at a VIP afterfete off the Rainbow Room, Justin Timberlake sweaty-danced with four girls while Kid Rock was propped up in a corner. Nick Cannon danced and held Mariah Carey's hand, though she was still sitting on her tuchus (big T move), and Mary J. Blige and Fergie swung their arms in the air. After midnight, Justin's gang cunga-lined to Rose Club at the Plaza, joining Leonardo DiCaprio.

To paraphrase Halston in Bob Colacello's book, Holy Terror, Andy would have had an "organza."

As fashion week dragged on, heat began to evaporate the souls of the stilletto-heeled mob. At Trovata, they had to crawl through a school bus to get into the venue, and there was no AC inside.

The models looked 12 years old and the guys had their hair combed forward (very T) like that real-estate agent on Million Dollar Listing who "has a girlfriend."