Patfolio - description of character Pat O'Neal Riley played by comedienne Julia Sweeney

Interview, Sept, 1994 by Julia Sweeney

On the eve of Julia Sweeney's debut film, It's Pat, we asked the former Saturday Night Live androgenue to set the record straight about her most ambiguous character

Pat O'Neal Riley Age: 33 Sex: Yes, often!

Grade School Attended: Isak Dinesen Elementary

High School Attended: Myra Breckinridge High

College Attended: Middlesex Junior College

Special Vocational Training in Home Ec & Shop.(*)

Extracurricular Activities: Debate & Band (I play the tuba).

Favorite Subjects: Anthropology. I love to learn about how people's cultures make them into who they are. My college class went on a dig in Greece. I found a Janus head!

Awards & Honors: I got a trophy for "American Social Dancing." I excelled at the bunny hop & the limbo!

Job Experience: Phone-Sex Operator

Comments: The best part about this job is that you can describe yourself in any sexy way you want! I don't mind admitting I embellished my real attributes to seem even more attractive. My lie? I told callers I was more endowed than I am. Finally, the whole job felt degrading, and I had to quit.

Kmart, Maternity Dept.

Comments: I'll admit, this was one weird job. I was totally unsuited for it, for obvious reasons. Still, I tried my best. One thing I learned: They say people are obsessed with themselves these days. That's not true! I found the expectant mothers to be very inquisitive. They wanted to know all about me!

U.S. Military

Comments: Yes, I joined up. It was a short stint. I thought their new policy of "Don't ask, don't tell" meant that they wouldn't ask you to do anything or tell me any orders! It turns out I was misinformed. When I learned what it really meant, I was appalled! I shouted "Ask!" and "Tell!" throughout the barracks. I was given an honorable discharge after only two days, for reasons never made clear to me.

Life Philosophy: I have a saying taped to my bathroom mirror, which I read every morning: "It's never too late to be what you might have been."--George Eliot

* When I first signed up for shop, I thought it was a class about shopping techniques--as in buying things! I was so confused! Once I realized it was about building things, I had to adjust. But I ended up liking that, too.