Helplessness to hope: my war with chemical, and other, weapons of destruction - First Person - from a recovering addict and alcoholic

UN Chronicle, Summer, 1998

Anyone with a genuine interest in this fellowship of men and women, whose primary purpose is to help one another stay sober while reaching out to the alcoholic who still suffers, is strongly urged to read the book Alcoholics Anonymous. It was from this volume that the organization took its name. Any further investigation can be done at "open" AA meetings, where people who do not believe they have a problem with alcohol are welcome to come and listen to recovering alcoholics tell their stories.

You will find that we indeed come from every level of society. Some of us landed on skid row, and some of us occupied the presidential suite, but we all drank alcoholically, and many of us abused other drugs.

I like to say that since I became an AA member, my life has been like a line on a graph that points straight up. That is an exaggeration. Nobody gets sober and drug-free overnight, and nobody gets sober and drug-free gracefully I started attending meetings regularly in September 1993, but it took several months before I was able to let go - absolutely and completely give myself to this simple programme.

Twenty years of pathology cannot be reversed all at once, and I realize I have a period of reconstruction ahead. But it is not an exaggeration to say that I am happier than I have ever been. I am genuinely close with my friends and my family. I would be remiss if I did not say that today I have God in my life, and that this is about the single most important fact of my existence.

It's not as if I don't have problems. After all, life does go on, whether you're drunk or sober. But today I am able to treat these problems as challenges, and meet my responsibilities on a daily basis instead of cowering from them with a drink or cocaine. I am cheerful (most of the time), optimistic and full of hope for a meaningful productive life.

Fact: Young people can be particularly vulnerable to acute alcohol effects because of their lower tolerance, their lack of experience with drinking and their more hazardous patterns of drinking, including episodic drinking in high-risk situations.

Peter P. is a novelist and recovering addict and alcoholic living in New York City. He contributed this article at the request of the Chronicle.