CAN'T TAKE MY EYES OFF OF YOU: 1 Man, 7 Days, 12 Televisions. - Review - book review

Washington Monthly, Dec, 2000 by Joe Dempsey

CAN'T TAKE MY EYES OFF OF YOU: 1 Man, 7 Days, 12 Televisions by Jack Lechner Crown, $23.95

JACK LECHNER ALWAYS ADMIRED Seven Glorious Days, Seven Fun-Filled Nights, Charles Sopkin's 1967 account of a week in front of six television sets. But in Sopkin's day there weren't hundreds of cable channels feeding a splintered audience, and Lechner, who worked in television and film for 14 years, decided that it was time to update the experiment, as well as Bill McKibben's similar experiment that he turned into his 1993 book, The Age of Missing Information. Lechner spent the week of September 26 1999, watching a dozen TV sets. His new book, Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You: 1 Man, 7 Days, 12 Televisions, records that week.

If you watch TV for an entire week, the odds are good that you'll find something worthwhile. Lechner's highlights include "Nightline," for its depth, and "Once and Again," a drama that realistically portrays the lives of 40-something divorcees. He even praises "Price is Right" host Bob Barker: "[In a game show] you're running from setup to setup, you're working with nonprofessionals, and you're finding ways to involve the audience in the challenges faced by said nonprofessionals ... If you flag, the show flags. Bob Barker never flags."

But the odds of finding garbage are even better. As Lechner, quoting sci-fi writer Theodore Sturgeon, acknowledges, "90 percent of everything is crap," and not just ads and infomercials. "They've pulled off the astonishing feat of identifying the lowest common denominator and going even lower," he writes after a professional wrestler force-feeds ALPO dog food to his opponent.

And there's plenty of mediocrity, even on the news. Watching news broadcasts that cover most subjects in under three minutes is like skimming headlines. He writes: "Of course I want to know what happened today, but I'd also like some suggestion of why it happened, and of any possible ramifications, and of what people think about it" Depth is ham to find: When Ed Meese tells an MSNBC interviewer that Reagan ended economic turmoil, Lechner comments, "Sure he did, if you don't count the deficit hole it's taken 11 years for the country to crawl out of."

Lechner's choice of presentation--a moment-by-moment description of what he watches--captures the laziness and fatigue of perpetual viewing in a way that goes beyond TV dinners and an aching body. By Wednesday, the quick resolutions of courtroom shows like "Judge Judy" ruin his concentration for real-life trials on "Court TV." Often his approach is a little too effective--at worst, the experience becomes almost as mind-numbing for the reader, though Lechner's sharp wit helps.

Some interesting ideas are lost in the wake of channel-surfing. When sitcom star Markie Post tells a talkshow host that she limits her children's television viewing, Lechner is skeptical: "I remember the social difficulties encountered by my friends in college who hadn't grown up watching television. You don't want your kids blindly following the herd, but you don't want them to be outcasts either" But Lechner gives up on "Dawson's Creek," a popular teen drama, halfway through since it has nothing to do with the lives of real teens. And by week's end, he says he'll stay away from TV until programs improve.

What role should TV play in one's life? Lechner may have a more comprehensive answer to this question, but since he's not writing an essay, we're left with passing reflections that seem contradictory.

He does use his epilogue to expand on some ideas, most notably the need for relevance and craftsmanship. Earlier he had criticized writers and producers of shows like "Spin City" and "Will & Grace" for not giving talented casts enough to do. Documentarians shy away from aesthetic risks; they're taking the easy way out. As he wraps up, Lechner suspects that industry workers have internalized the notion that TV is garbage. Their standards fall; their work suffers.

What would make him a regular viewer? "Nothing less than a new flowering of the American work ethic," he says, "and how likely is that?" Children's shows are better than most adult shows, a trend he attributes to advocates who have demanded quality. Since there's still ample audience for predictable plots and Jerry Springer, maybe the need for higher standards doesn't apply simply to those producing TV.

JOE DEMPSEY is an intern for The Washington Monthly.