Tidbits & outrages - Brief Article - Column

Washington Monthly, April, 2002

SCANDAL FOR THE AGES

The Smithsonian Institution recently announced plans to enshrine the Enron ethics manual. Quipped a spokesman: "I guess the Hope Diamond doesn't stand a chance."

NO GAY ONES, THOUGH

The 131st annual meeting of the National Rifle Association is offering free admission to law enforcement, firefighters, military personnel--and Boy Scouts.

TAKING "FUZZY MATH" ONE STEP FURTHER

The Bush administration managed to restore--briefly--the budget surplus. As The Washington Post's Glenn Kessler reported, a missing minus sign in the Bush budget turned this year's projected $106 billion deficit into a surplus.

MAYBE KEN LAY'S AVAILABLE ...

The National Republican Congressional Committee bestowed a "Republican of the Year" award on Mark A. Grethen, a convicted sex offender, whose 26-year prison sentence prevented him from attending the awards luncheon. "We weren't aware of his current predicament," an NRCC spokesman explained.

AN ARMY OF ONE?

In a move sure to boost enlistment, the British Army is allowing single soldiers to let their girlfriends stay in the barracks overnight. General Sir Michael Walker, chief of staff, insisted, "We are not setting up knocking camps."

VOID IF CONDUCTING BUSINESS OFFSHORE

"Moral as well as legal obligations will be fulfilled openly, promptly, and in a manner which will reflect pride on the Company's name."

--Enron's employee manual on "Business Ethics"