Cheers & Jeers - personal finance

Kiplinger's Personal Finance Magazine, Dec, 1999 by Kristin> Davis

We suggest a further award of two dictionaries--one for Williams and the other for his attorney, who referred to the defendant as "Enternal Tattoos" throughout court documents.

STRANGER THAN FICTION

Hey, Boo Boo, I Think I Smell a Pick-a-Nick Basket

The U.S. Department of Energy has developed a technology that turns used french-fries oil into environmentally friendly diesel fuel. The National Park Service considered using the biodiesel fuel for tour buses, but changed its mind because the odor might attract bears. When burned, biodiesel smells just like chicken.

HE OUGHT TO KNOW: The author of Getting Fired: What to Do If You're Fired, Downsized, Laid Off, Restructured, Discharged, Terminated or Forced to Resign is employment lawyer Steven Sack.

HAPPY AS A CLAM: ABCNews.com's "Mad or Rad" scientist David George Gordon reports that small quantities of the antidepressants Prozac, Luvox and Paxil cause "an orgy of synchronous spawning" among clams and mussels. Peter Fong, an assistant professor of biology at Gettysburg College, in Pennsylvania, made the discovery that slipping antidepressants into the water causes whole beds of bivalves to release sperm and eggs. Alas, the drugs don't have a similar effect on humans.

MAKE YOUR MONEY GROW: Swedish artist Ola Pehrson is trying an organic approach to stock picking. Reuters reports that as part of an art exhibition, Pehrson has attached electrodes to the leaves of a yucca plant and is converting the plant's electrical impulses into "buy" and "sell" signals for the 16 most actively traded stocks on the Stockholm Stock Exchange. If the yucca's picks beat the average return on those stocks, the plant gets plenty of water, food and light. If it underperforms, it stays dry and in the dark. Imagine the effect on mutual fund managers.

WINNERS ...

Record-Setting Generosity

Microsoft's Bill Gates gave $5 billion in stock this year to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation to support education and health care programs. Of the total, $1 billion was earmarked to finance 1,000 college scholarships for minority students each year for the next 20 years--the largest gift ever to higher education, according to the Chronicle of Higher Education.

DAY-TRADING DIVA: Singer-actress Barbra Streisand has the Midas touch on Wall Street as well as in Hollywood. In just five months, according to Fortune, she turned buddy Donna Karan's $1-million investment into $1.8 million by trading Internet highfliers such as eBay and Amazon.com.

GOLDEN GIRLS: Members of the U.S. women's championship World Cup soccer team will appear (fully clothed) on boxes of Wheaties, as well as on Golden Goals, a Quaker Oats cereal shaped like soccer balls. Star forward Mia Hamm has signed deals worth an estimated $2 million to $3 million, and midfielder Brandi Chastain has lined up more than $1 million in endorsements, including sponsorships from Nike and Volvo. In fact, soccer may be one sport in which it pays (big) to be a woman. In England's Premier league, the latest endorsement for Coventry City's men's team is for an official club condom.