The Long Road Home - adopting children abroad

Kiplinger's Personal Finance Magazine, Dec, 2000 by Catherine Siskos, Erin Burt

FAMILIES | Eager for a child, would be parents are filling the nursery faster by ADOPTING ABROAD.

FOUR YEARS ago Cindy and Dominick La Joy bought a big house in rural Montrose, Colo., expecting to fill it with kids in no time. But the babies didn't come, and the 2,300-square-foot home felt as vast as the Taj Mahal. "It echoed with a loneliness that I didn't understand until Matthew arrived," says Cindy.

Matthew is the baby son the La Joys longed for, with one twist: To bring him home, they had to travel halfway around the world to Kazakhstan, a former Soviet republic in Central Asia, where Matthew was adopted last May.

The journey to Kazakhstan had begun a year earlier, in June 1999, when the La Joys, both in their mid thirties, decided to adopt a child overseas. "We had limited funds and felt that foreign adoption was the most certain way to end up with a child," says Cindy, who immediately began surfing the Internet for information. She and Dominick spent the summer trading e-mails with parents who had adopted abroad. "They told us we really could do it and that it was not such a far-out, crazy idea," says Cindy.

For the past decade, Americans have been going overseas in record numbers to fill empty nests, adopting more than 16,000 foreign children in 1999 alone. Just over half of them came from Russia, China and South Korea, the top three "donor" countries.

Because only 2% of single mothers in this country put their babies up for adoption, couples like the La Joys may wait seven years for an infant here, compared with about a year for a baby or toddler from abroad.

While a foreign adoption is sure to save you time, it may also save you money--and heartache. Adopting a U.S. infant typically costs from $15,000 to $20,000, but expenses--including the birth mother's medical care--may run as high as $30,000 if the mother decides to keep her child and you have to start over. A foreign adoption costs $12,000 to $30,000, depending on the travel involved, and you're virtually guaranteed a child.

Some couples also turn to international adoption to find a child of the same race. While most adoptive parents in the U.S. are white, more than half of the children in foster care and in need of adoptive families are African American. "Parents often want kids who look like them to preserve the anonymity of adoption," says Dellory Matthews of Focus on Children, an adoption agency in Cokeville, Wyo., formed by adoptive parents.

Of course, adopting a child from another country involves risk: Unethical or fraudulent practices may void the adoption or even subject you to prosecution under another country's laws. Information about the child's health may be sketchy. Foreign governments can shut down the process for months at a time. Then there is the daunting mound of paperwork that must satisfy not one, but two, persnickety governments. It's like "a long pregnancy and an even longer labor," says Sharon Kaufman, executive director of the Joint Council on International Children's Services, in Washington, D.C.

Dollars for the dream

PERHAPS THE biggest hurdle is financing, which you should have in place before applying to an agency. Many adoptive parents use a home-equity line of credit. Others use MBNA America's adoption loan (800-626-2760), which offers up to $25,000 at a lower interest rate (recently 13.99%) than standard loans. When the La Joys adopted Matthew, they used their savings to pay half the $22,000 cost, and took a personal loan from their bank for the rest.

Some direct help is available. Businesses are increasingly reimbursing their employees for a portion of their adoption costs. Parents whose income is $75,000 or less and who adopt before the end of 2001 will receive a $5,000 tax credit. And the National Adoption Foundation (203-791-3811) offers dozens of small grants each year.

Some families simply raise the money. Suzanne and Rick Meunier, of Anchorage, were strapped for cash when they wanted to adopt two sisters from the same Siberian orphanage from which they had adopted 9-year-old twin girls in 1998. The two sets of siblings grew up together in the orphanage, and are so close in age that they're sometimes mistaken for quadruplets. The Meuniers, who used most of their savings for the first adoption, decided to sell notecards illustrated by the twins that told their family's story. "We started getting checks from complete strangers," says Suzanne. They raised $14,000, and the adoption took place last May.

Partners for parenthood

CHOOSING AN AGENCY is the single most important decision--short of choosing a child--that adoptive parents make. Because agencies specialize in particular countries, first determine where you want your child to come from and whether you are eligible to adopt from that country. The State Department lists on its Web site (www.travel.state .gov/adopt.html) each country's adoption procedures and requirements.

Start your agency search by talking with other parents. Many support groups--such as Families With Children From China (www.fwcc.org), Families for Russian and Ukrainian Adoption (www.frua.org) and the Eastern European Adoption Coalition (www.eeadopt.org)--have local chapters, online chat rooms or a buddy network that can put you in touch with adoptive parents. They are your best sources for referrals.