Partners in more ways than one

Kiplinger's Personal Finance Magazine, Nov, 1998 by Ian Baldwin, Stacy Stover

Going into business with your spouse takes vision, mokey--and a sense of humor.

Minneapolis artist Jack Molloy owes his livelihood to his wife, Joanie Bernstein, an artist's representative whom he calls "one of the top reps in the country." Nevertheless, Molloy admits he has sometimes inquired of his spouse, "in a friendly tone, of course, `Why didn't you get me that job?'"

"Jack would rather be cleaning the garage than working all the time, anyway," retorts Bernstein.

It's apparent from such banter that Bernstein and Molloy have mastered one of the skills most important to a harmonious merger of business and marriage. Naturally, partners need a vision of where they're going, a business plan to get them there and money to implement the plan. But the true measure of any successful collaboration is that one spouse feels free enough to joke about the partnership while the other is secure enough to laugh along.

Statistics from the IRS show that there are about 800,000 businesses jointly operated by a man and a woman in the U.S. But a number of professionals who advise family businesses think it's just the beginning of a trend that already has a name: co-preneurship. The benefits for couples who succeed run the gamut from sharing an instant carpool to pooling their efforts and resources toward a shared vision. "When you put this much passion into something, the rewards are great," says Sally Fegley, who with her husband runs Tom and Sally's Handmade Chocolates, in Brattleboro, Vt.

Co-preneurs include young couples just starting out, older couples taking early retirement and embarking on a second career, and middle-aged victims of downsizing--like the Fegleys. They left New York City in the 1980s when Sally's bank faced a hostile takeover and Tom's insurance company wanted him to move to Atlanta. Instead, they sold their homes, cashed in their 401(k) plans and invested about $250,000 in the chocolate business. For the first few years, they lived off their savings. "It was very stressful," says Sally. "We were very afraid of failing."

SURVIVAL SKILLS

In fact, co-preneurs have so many opportunities to go astray that it's a wonder any succeed in business or marriage. They often underestimate how much time they'll spend on the job--and with each other. They put all their money into the business, neglecting retirement and skimping on health and life insurance. They fail to plan for disability or divorce. The ones who make it do so by learning the delicate art of balancing their personal and professional lives. DIVIDE AND CONQUER. It is critical that couples define their roles so that they and their employees know who's responsible for what. Sometimes those roles are naturally complementary, as in the case of Neil and Barry Myers, who operate the Inn at Vaucluse Spring, a bed-and-breakfast near Winchester, Va., in partnership with another couple. "Neil is a gardener and landscape designer, and a wonderful cook. I'm into building development and numbers-crunching," says Barry, who was a builder at one time in his past life.

Paula Gawthorp and her husband, Steven Armentrout, are partners in John C. Burney & Co., a financial-management firm. With a PhD in computer science, Steven is director of research and a portfolio manager. Paula, whose past experience was presenting educational programs about health care finance, now does seminars and TV presentations on personal finance. "It fell out very naturally," says Steven. "I do analysis and Paula, who is very charismatic, is a perfect outreach person."

To make sure they stay in sync, couples should set aside time regularly to talk about the business. "Every Sunday, after the last guest leaves, the four of us get together to discuss the week past and the week ahead--and make sure we're all still speaking," says Barry Myers.

FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OF EACH OTHER YOU CAN STAND. "I've seen couples who can work at the same computer terminal and others who have to be in different buildings," says Patricia Frishkoff, director of the Austin Family Business Program at Oregon State University (to order the center's video, Couples in Business Together, check www.familybusiness.orst.edu, or call 800-859-7609; $79.95).

Bernstein, for instance, confides, "Jack put in a trap door that drops from his studio into the garage..."

"... so that I can say, `See you later, honey. I'm going to work,'" Molloy finishes with a laugh.

Gawthorp and Armentrout, who have been married for four years and in business together for two, commute together and often work late into the evening. But they swear they never tire of each other's company. "We feel kind of sad for couples who don't see each other all day," says Gawthorp.

VALUE EACH OTHER'S CONTRIBUTIONS. "When husbands and wives begin working together, they don't know how to divide responsibilities any other way than along traditional male-female lines," says psychologist Kathy Marshack, author of Entrepreneurial Couples: Making It Work at Work and at Home (Davies Black). "So he's the boss and she's the support person."