Gospel singer: CeCe Winans

Jet, Oct 3, 2005 by Dana Slagle

It's no secret that CeCe Winans has a warm smile, beautiful face and an angelic voice. But many people may not know that this multiplatinum award-winning Christian artist has had her share of ups and downs.

"That's my life story. If God doesn't help me I'm a mess," jokes Winans. "But I've got a few huge mistakes out there. There have been so many times when I think I could have done this better and done that better. I think I'm learning to live with it. Most of my work, I look over and I'm very proud of. But there's definitely a few out there I think 'I should have kept that.'"

One song she definitely didn't have a problem with was the award-winning hit Alabaster Box. However, she remembers a time when she went onstage to perform that song, and nothing would come out of her mouth.

"I lost my voice totally. When I say totally, I couldn't talk," says Winans, whose only option was to stand onstage and just clap her hands.

"But God came through. I turned to my background singers and told my background singers, 'You guys have got to carry me.' And they carried it. They sang and the audience loved it."

Another challenge for the beautiful songstress has been managing her weight-especially when she's on the road.

"It's an ongoing battle for me," says Winans, 40, who has been singing since she was 17. "I'm the type of person that if I don't work out every day and stay on a strict eating habit, the weight will run back on.

"When I'm home and more settled, then I'm able to keep my regimen going. When I hit the road, it is hard," adds Winans, who recently began traveling to promote her newly released CD, Purified, which has kept her busy doing autograph signings and interviews.

It's also been a little hard for her dealing with the recent death of her brother, Ronald Winans, the second eldest of 10 children and former member of the famous gospel quartet, the Winans Brothers.

"Even though we were really close, I could have loved him better," says Winans. "It's like you always expect people to be there. If I had known ahead of time, I would have spent more time with him. I kind of feel like I blew that."

She doesn't let life's challenges keep her down. When she has a problem, she knows exactly what to do.

"I find courage in the Word of God," says Winans. "Because of my shortcomings and mistakes-like the song that says, 'We fall down,' but I always get the courage to get back up and keep on going."

Although she lost one loved one, she's still surrounded by lots of family, including "Mom" and "Pop" Winans, her eight siblings, and other family members. She also has her husband of 21 years, Alvin Love II, and their two children: 20-year-old Alvin Love III and 18-year-old Ashley Rose Love. Both of the children are attending Belmont University in Nashville.

Like most any mom, her children are her pride and joy.

"I'm proud of both of them," says Winans. "They're not in trouble. I'm blessed that they love God and they're trying to do their best. But kids are kids--they do trip out, but they try to do the right thing."

Winans admits that motherhood is rewarding, but it can be scary.

"My biggest fear would probably be failing as a mom. I think whenever you have children, they become your No. 1 priority. They should, and so you want to succeed at that," she says.

She also says raising children can test your patience.

"I tell everybody, if you want to be prayerful, if you want a different spiritual life, get some teenagers-it will keep you on your knees," she laughed.

Nevertheless, when it comes to parenting, Winans has found that staying close to her children is key.

"As parents you have to stay connected to them and you have to keep praying. Some parents say, 'I'll give them their space.' Pleeease. Forget that! I didn't give them any space. As long as they're in my household, they've got to do what I want them to do, and I have to check on them. That's my responsibility."

As a mom, she also feels it's her job to provide a positive environment for her family. She has done this by spending quality time with them. However, now that both of her children are in college, she's trying to adjust to her empty nest.

"I'm going through some tough changes right now," says Winans. "Right now, I am missing them."

Even though she misses her children, she admits it's time for her to focus on herself. But Winans, who is working on clothing and jewelry lines, doesn't find this easy.

"I almost have to train myself to spend more time with myself," says Winans, who explained that she is like many women who usually spend a lot of time nurturing children and husbands and often forget about themselves. However, she said spending time with her family has been worth it.

"The more time you invest, the more you get out of the relationship-and that's with any relationship," she adds.

For Winans this investment also includes continually working on her marriage. She does this by communicating with her husband and putting God first.

"Both of us believe in going to church, hearing God's Word, putting God's Word in our marriage and letting God's Word be the center of our marriage-that's why we're still here, and why we're both still happy to be here," says Winans.